Losing Control
by ophiliakhaos
Summary: {AU} Both of them were rock stars. Touring the country together, adoring fans, amazing friends and band mates. Trying with all his might he lost to his own lustful urges. One night with Kagome has Inu Telling himself not to mix pleasure with business. Still he finds himself delving deeper then he should have. Trying to push her farther away, will he be able to defeat temptation?
1. Among the lost

**AN:**** This is my third go around for this story. I keep re-reading it and seeing thing I could have done better, or what not. I renamed it, the band names stay the same but the title itself is noe different.I hoping people get interested, because I really do need feed abck to help me know what is good and isnt.**

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own the show or characters from Inu-Yasha. I make no profit.**

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**Among the lost:**

**Inu-Yasha\- (Vocals) Miroku-**** (drums) ****Sesshomaru\- (Bass) ****Kouga\- (Guitar)**

**Siren Theory:**

**Kikyou\- (vocals) ****Kagome\- (Guitar) ****Sango\- (Drums)**

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_**Summary: **_

_Inu-Yasha and his friends are a recently discovered band. Loving and enjoying the life of a rock star, what could go wrong? Kagome is the guitarist for Siren Theory, the band Inu is touring with. Telling himself not to mix pleasure with business he finds himself delving deeper then he should have. Trying to push her farther away, will he be able to defeat temptation? Will his band mates be able to fight their own emerging battles? Or will they all crumble at the pressure of the rock world? Can they manage to remain friends or will the pressure destroy all they worked so hard for?_

**"Loosing control."**

**Chapter 1: Among the Lost.**

" This is what show number 4 in how many days?" Miroku sat In his chair hunched, slightly hung over from the night before.

" Stop complaining so much. It's a job." Sesshomaru growled from his corner not looking up at Anyone.

"I'm just tired."

"Maybe stop sleeping around with women at all hours at night and you'd get a decent amount of time."

"I'm offended you would ever suggest a thing. Maybe you should **try** getting laid. This angsty emo thing really doesn't suit you."

"Miroku..." Sesshomaru sent one warning out. Miroku sulked but stopped.

"Hey do you guys remember the one chick Miroku ended up with tree towns back?"

"Shut it Kouga!"

"I'm just curious how she managed to do some of the things I saw with ping pong balls."

I couldn't help but laugh. I smiled apologetically at Mirkou. It wasn't the guys fault he was a borderline man whore. Well actually it was. he didn't have anyone to blame but himself for getting picked on.

It was like this everyday, tour life gets boring after a while so all you had let was to pick on one another, or you go crazy.

We were all sitting backstage waiting for our show to begin. From what the roadies were saying the decently sized bar was packed to capacity. I could hear the crowd roaring,cheering. If you stayed still you could feel the floor vibrating from the active fans. I could just picture the fans jumping, singing along to the songs. Currently they were watching Siren's theory, but I knew once we were up there we'd meet the same roar. Every show it was like that. They would scream their voices ragged .arms reaching out just to have up graze their palms. It was surreal. I still didn't believe we were here.

We recently just hit it semi big, an you wouldn't believe the amount of fan base we seemed to have made. There were fans that even followed us town to town. Not bad for a bunch of guys from a small rural village. It was nerve racking. it seemed just like yesterday we were all in my dingy garage dreaming it big an playing our hearts out. We never really thought it would turn into something huge.

But I guess it's like they say, dreams do come true. By a sheer luck moment we were discovered and signed. Given a 3 year contract we instantly got booked with a bigger band to go around touring. Not saying we were getting paid the big bucks or living up the rock star lifestyle, but we were well on our way.

I drummed my fingers on my knee in a nervous gesture. The minutes were counting down till we had to walk on stage. Think by now after all the show's we had done in the past few months i'd be use to the lights, an screaming. I still found myself being in awe. Not to mention a complete mess. They say you get use to it. I'm starting to think you don't.

" Calm down Inu-Yasha, you're beginning to make me nervous looking at you."

Turning my head I watched as a bemused smile crossed Miroku's face. he was my best friend, i had know him longer then everyone, besides Sesshomaru. He looked down at me black hair pulled back in the usual fashion, he sported nothing but a ripped up band T, and equally ripped jeans His arm's were on full display, showing off the patterned abstract his arms created. Rainbow splotches at a distance, up closed you could see what exactly he had inked on his arms. Demons battling samurai's, geisha's scantly clad fawning at the warriors mighty bloody feet. Even with harsh beautiful art, he still managed to be a attractive man, those tattoo's most likely attracted the women in droves.

Twirling a drum stick in each hand, he oozed confidence. Nothing seemed to phase him. he loved the attention and crowed. Miroku was always confident in his stage performance. As well as his performance with the ladies after wards. That man could charm the pants off anymore. It wouldn't be a good night if he did do just that. If he could work that charm on me right now just to calm me down I'd have been forever thankful.

Smiling at him I shook my head. "That obvious huh?""

" You have no idea."

"Sorry, Think by now I'd be use to this life."

"You're just a late bloomer Inu." Kouga patted me on the back. "One day soon you will bloom into a lovely lady."

Shrugging him off I reached back punching, hitting my desired target "I'll show you a lovely lady." I glowed as Kouga scooted away clutching his family jewels.

"I like em frisky."

One finger saluting Kouga I smiled at Miroku. " I expect retaliation soon for that. Tell the crowd their singer fought the good fight."

"Don't worry if you lose the ability to walk, I'll just strap you to a chair and roll you onto the stage." Winking Miroku playfully punched me on the arm. In his own weird way he was just trying to help.

"Don't pick on him Miroku...You're not helping him."

I heard more then saw Sesshomaru. His voice was a octave over a whisper. Not being able to make out the expression he had on his face due to his long silvery white hair covering it, but I knew under the curtain of hair laid a mask of pure concentration. His fingers mindlessly strummed against his ivory bass. His most cherished possession. He was the main force behind half the music the band created. He was a genius musician. You'd almost believe the bass was magic, it was just Sesshomaru,

The hardest working member of the band, always practicing or barking at everyone to follow his example an practice harder. He was like the father of the band, always looking out for everyone. Always seemed so quiet, and reserved. A mysterious vibe always surrounded him. Like he hid a secret, A secret no way in hell any of them would get out of him.

He got a rap for being to serious, Some thought he was down right mean. He was a tall, muscular man. he wasn't mean just intimidating as hell. He just enjoyed being alone most of the time. He was like that when i was growing up. He was my oldest and only brother. If anyone understood him it was me. And I didn't understand him all that well at times. Still a good guy to have at your back.

"well it's official if the ice prince notices it, An he hardly notices anything, then you my friend are officially screwed."

"You haven't seen ice prince yet Kouga. Maybe if you practice as much as you ran your mouth you wouldn't screw up as much."

"Awww Sessy is in a mood today isn't he? Does Sessy need a nap?"

"Call me sessy one more time..." Placing his bass back down Sesshomaru made a move to get up.

"Ooooh stop it Mr. Big and bad. Sit down." Knowing when to stop poking the bear Kouga flashed his play boy smile. Must have worked since Sesshomaru grunted and sat back down to continue his bass strumming.

Kouga beamed at a grumpy Sesshoumaru who simple ignored him.

Kouga was always pulling Sesshomaru's chains. The only time the man wasn't trying to make Sesshomaru snap was when he was sleeping. I watched as his eyes twinkle with a mischievous thought. Lord only knows what the man was thinking of doing next.

Typical Among the lost moment's like this made me love what we did. I don't know where I would be without these three.

I smiled, these guys were not just my band mates, but my best friends.

"3 minutes guys ,an then you need to hustle an be on stage. Siren's are about to be done with their set." A stage manager popped his head in and gave us a encouraging smile before disappearing to continue barking orders out on his head set.

Snapping back to reality I realized where we were again. Nodding my head I looked back at the guys. Standing up I jumped on the balls of my heels. I was ready, I could do this. I honestly had no choice but do it. I was in a contract after all.

I must have still shown a sigh of nervousness. Miroku stood next to me and tried to reassure me once again.

"Inu, it's going to be fine. You will rock everyone's faces off an maybe afterwards you might get laid.I might even be nice enough to give you a sloppy second.." Winking at me Miroku playfully swatted my butt an walked out of the room, assuming he was going to start heading towards the stage. Shaking my head I looked at the remaining members of our band and smiled. I had nothing to worry about.

"If I were you I wouldn't touch anything he's been with..Might catch something." Sesshomaru gave a rare half smile as he floated out of the room behind Miroku. bass slung over his back.

"I heard that!" Miroku's voice echoed from a distance.

"It was meant to be heard. Go to a clinic you walking petri dish!"

"Sessy made a funny!"

"I got something for you after the show Kouga.." Sesshomaru popped his head back in glaring daggers at Kouga, who slumped in his chair.

I shook my head. One day he will learn to shut up.

"Yea Inu it's going to be fine." Smiling I looked over at the door where the feminine sing song voice had come from.

"You say that because I'm competition. You really want me to fail miserably so they boot us from the tour."

"Damn my master plan has been found out." Winking she walked further into our room, plopping down and helping her self to snacks and beer. "I might have to ask for your guys dressing room. Looks bigger."

Kagome Higurashi was about a foot shorter then me, her long black hair pulled up so not to be a distraction while playing. Her all leather get up hugged every inch an curve of her body. She looked like a bikers wet dream. She was many a man's wet dream, even Miroku had tried but failed miserably. Good for Kagome.

I was even fond of her looks was attractive, and talented. A women after my own heart. It was a damn shame I had a rule of not dating people I worked with. I'd have loved to have gotten to know Kagome even better. So instead we built a decently fun friendship. Full of jabs and harmless flirts. Maybe once this tour was over I'd give a shot at her.

Her eyes sparkled, and sweat had pooled on her face,she was the guitarist for the all female band Siren Theory who we happened to be touring with. She didn't show a sign of exhaustion though, she looked ready to give it another go round.

"I wonder in Sango and Kikyou are this devious."

"Devious you say?"

"Yea, do all you girls plot our downfall?"

"Define downfall?"

I smiled. "Cute."

"I've been told that before in some form of way."

I found myself barking out a loud harsh laugh, before I could say how amazing they sounded I was being knocked upside the head an dragged out the room. " No time for you to play google eye you can flounder at Kagome after our show, we got to go now!" Kouga pulled me away as I stared at a laughing Kagome.

"see you after my set them." I watched her over my shoulder a smile that said _Sorry, but you know how it is._

"Yea...see you Inu." She smiled back at me, for a split second I wish I could a stayed behind just to chat. Hearing the crowd roar as the announcer declared our names made me realize there might have been a small riot if I did that.

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**Short yes. I just want to see the feedback I get. Like I said I have a million and one ideas for this. Please give me positive reviews. I can't wait to hear from you! 3, I'm hoping this generates people who actually wanna read it. Please review your feed back is what helps me figure out what not to do an what to do. Thanks.**


	2. Guy problems

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own the show or characters from Inu-yasha.**

**Among the lost:**

**Inu-Yasha\- (Vocals) Miroku-**** (drums) ****Sesshomaru-( Bass( ****Kouga\- (Guitar(**

**Siren Theory:**

**Kikyou\- (vocals( ****Kagome-( Guitar( ****Sango\- (Drums)**

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**"Loosing Control."**

**Chapter 2: Guy problems.**

I felt the sweat pouring down my face, My arms swung wildly as they slammed down to hit every rhythm. I felt as if I were a blur of movement as fast as I was swinging. I followed every beat drumming in time with Sesshoumaru's humming sounding bass lines, an Kouga's lightening fast riff. I was lost into the music. letting myself go like I always did.

Inu-Yasha's voice seeped into the cheering crowd, wrapping itself round them an chocking on their hearts. His voice was filled with so much emotion, his lyrics cutting you to the core. Inu no longer seemed to be nervous. It was like a switch when he walked onto the stage. He became this immortal being, moving in a fluid movement to the lyrics he himself wrote. He became another person. I guess in a way we all did. Sesshoumaru opened more on stage, giving the fans half lipped smiles here an there, Kouga always seemed more in tuned to his music than being all around the place like he was back stage.

This band flowed together like no other. We were like a living breathing being. We all had our parts and with out each other the body would wither and die. The dynamic was always like this, ever since we were teenage punks playing nosily in Inu-Yasha's beat up garage. There was no other band I'd ever wanna play with but this one.

" Kyoto, You have been the most amazing crowd we've had in the longest time. We will be back again!" That was Kouga's que apparently, handing his guitar to a roadie Kou staged dive right into the crowed, being carried away an for all I knew groped. I should have done that. Damn.

Shaking my head I threw my sticks into the cheering crowed an watched as two females nearly mauled one another over it. Running off stage I was on a determined misson. Running past Inu I made a point in patting him. A non verbal sign saying _'See told you, you would be ok.'_ Guy was always worried for no reason.

" Inu good job, told you everything would be ok."

Laughing Inu nodded. "Thanks. Where you off to?"

"As if you even need to ask."

"On your way to mark another notch on your bed post?" See he gets me. This is why he's my best friend. Not a trace of judgement was laced in that tone.

Nodding I smiled my best devilish smile. "And you go talk to Kagome lover boy."

Scowling at me. "Don't even go there."

"Anyone with a brain cell can see you pitch a tent whenever she's around." I ducked as his arm slung out to hit me.

Glaring with his arms crossed Inu-Yasha gave me a none to friendly look. "Even if that was so you know.."

"The rules, blah,blah you have only yourself to blame for that crap. YOU made the rules you can break them."

"Shut up Miroku." grumbling as he turned I watched amused as he sauntered off to the dressing room, where I only assumed Kagome would be waiting for him. Those two were predictable.

Not wanting to waste another minute I headed back to my mission. After every show I had to find some release and fun. So happened there were plenty of women out at the bar who would gladly help me with that. I wasn't at all a picky man. I was a lover of women, all shapes and sizes. As long as there was a pulse and above the age I would be a happy man.

I was right to the door that lead to the bar, hand reached out, when I felt a hulking force slam their hand on the door. Not even having to turn I knew it was only one person cock blocking the hell out of me. I turned to face my demon. This case it was Sesshomaru. Surely here to ream me about correct rock star behavior. One hurdle after another, would only make the end goal that much better.

"Well good evening Sesshomaru."

"I'm not here to play games with you." Standing directly behind me, I could feel his breath blow the hairs at the base of my neck around.

"Personal space Sesshomaru."

"You're gonna hear me out..."

"Sure thing as long as you back the fuck up." I didn't mean to sound as angry as it came out. I just wasn't a fan of being caged.

He stepped back, arms crossed. Smiling an help my hand up in a _no problems_, salute. "See not hard."

" Don't be late again Miroku...You hold us up an make us almost late again I will make it a personal mission to make the rest of your life hell." Sesshomaru's icy stare bore into me. If I didn't know him so well It would have intimidated the pants off me. Too bad I know his tough guy act was that, a act. This guy was never any fun.

" You make the band late ONCE because you get handcuffed an left to your own devices ONCE and you never hear the end of it again. Com'on Sessy I won't let it happen again."

" I mean it Miroku."

" Me too I have a spare key always within hand reach." Seeing his hand move in for a smack, I used that to my advantage an ducked under his arm and squeezing my way through the bar door. Saved.

Now I could go have some fun! Maybe if I got lucky I'd find a pair of twins. Oh the life of a rock star. It contributed to half my love life. Looking around the room I saw all the potential tail. Girls with cleavage hardly staying within their tops, so much make up caked on their faces they looked like kabuki dolls. Girls grinding on one another just for the attention of the other males, girls who didn't even look like they belong at a rock concert, more like they should be at home in footy pajamas and pigtails. memo-to self: stay clear of that!

There was so much potential tonight. I could have my pick of anyone. _To bad the one I really wanted was off limits. Thank you Inu-Yasha. your lame rule ruined not just your fun but mine! _I leaned against the bar counter watching people dance, two men in the corner clearly having to much to drink started punching one another. I watched up till security hauled their asses out. I continued my people watching, till I caught the eye of a waitress. She smiled and waved, , smiling back at her I was just about to make a leap over the bar till I noticed a figure emerge from he door I had come out of.

I was so busy looking around at other females I didn't realize the one who had sided up along side me. Her hip playfully bumped into mine as she looked at me grinning. My heart leaped into my throat. She would choose this moment to harass the hell out of me.

" Well,well, if it isn't the infamous womanizer Miroku." I could hear the smile before turning to see it on her face. She could light up a room with that thing.

Tipping my imaginary hat to her I couldn't help but smile myself. "Songo."

"oo the rock god remembers my name! Quick someone help me before I swoon!" Mocking a fainting motion with one hand on her forehead as she pretended her knees had instantly become jelly. Before she could fall she quickly straightened herself back up laughing.

"Your mockery of my talent is offensive."

"You call whoring a talent?"

"Wouldn't you?"

"No...not really." She let a little laugh snort come out. Turning away from me she looked into the crowd. Eyeing up the competition." You can do better then these girls Miroku. That's saying something since you bag anything that walks."

" I take offense. I card before bagging."

"A everyday renaissance man." leaning along side me at the bar, she tarted to people watch. I watched as her eyes would dart back and forth, occasionally a disgusted look would over come her at the sight of a women she didn't like getting to close. One look at Sango had them backing off.

"Sango if you keep mean mugging them, they won't want to join me."

"I'm simply keeping the ratchet ones at bay. You should be thanking me."

"Maybe I like ratchet."

"That's just sad, even for you."

I laughed, Songo just had that effect on me. She was a tall , sassy women. Her sense of humor rivaled even mine sometimes. She put all the women in this room to shame with her beauty. She was right, I could do better. To bad the better thought I was a man whore- and off limits. She was also the drummer for Siren Theory. Which In Inu's book meant : No touchy. To bad, I'd have done things to her that would have made her mother blush.

" So rock star what are you doing? Looking for some more action?" A edge of bitterness marked her voice. Hm interesting.

"You can say that. Although I could always make an exception and smuggle you back to my bus." I leaned back give her the once over, letting my eyes stop and rest on her ass. "Oh yeah I could."

"In your dreams buddy." She looked flush but she didn't say more. I think I hit a nerve.

"You have no idea what I dream of." I winked at her. Playing with her was so much more fun then looking for other fun.

"Small blessing that. I'd get a STD just from watching."

"It wouldn't be to bad. promise to only give curable one's to you."

"Such a gentleman."

Sliding up closer to me I felt my pulse speed up, every time she was close to me I felt I would explode. My heart would race, I was surprised I didn't break into a sweet, hell surprised I didn't get a hard on.. _Down boy. not aloud to play with. . pretty .band..reputation!_ If reputation even mattered. Everyone and their mother knew I was a horn dog. Not really something I was proud of. I just had to do something to waste time. And since I wasn't aloud to try anything with the one I wanted. What was a guy to do?

Songo leaned over, her hands going under where my lap was. He body pressed against me and I felt every curve she had. Yea this didn't help my situation. She rummaged a minute before coming back up two beers in hand. Tossing me one she cracked hers open and drank a long pull. Sighing she closed her eyes in utter contentment.

"Nothing like a beer after a show."

"I can think of better things."

I felt her playfully slug my arm in annoyance. "Is that all you think about?"

"I was talking about a bath pervert."

" One day you're going to catch something, and that little thing you call a penis will shrivel an fall off." Swatting me on the ass she disappeared back through the door to the backstage, leaving me alone to wonder why she kept tormenting me.

She knew I had a thing for her, and knew I couldn't make an advance. In return she used every chance she had to mock and pick on was a evil temptress at time. God did I still want her. Shaking my head I made eye contact with a decently attractive waitress. I smiled my charming smile an made my way to her.

She bite her lip and made sure her short skirt rode up a little higher, Yup she was interested at least.

I knew one way to get a certain drummer out of my mind at least for a minute. And it just so happened to be under the skirt of this bar maid.


	3. Woes of a bassist

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own the show or characters from Inu-yasha.**

**Vocals-**** Inu-Yasha ****drums-**** Miroku ****Bass-**** Sesshoumaru ****Guitar-**** Kouga**

**Siren Theory:**

**Vocals****\- Kiyou ****Guitar****\- Kagome ****Drums-**** Sango**

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**"Loosing control."**

**Chapter 3: Woes of a bassist. **

I found my way back to the dressing room after the show , but not before threatening Miroku. One of these days I'm going to give him a nice dose of pay back. Next time he makes us late to a show, Like last week I'm making him walk to the gig...naked. Walking into the room I breathed in deeply.

I love my job, i love making music and performing with my friends. I'm just more of a solitude person. I like being on my own from time to time. And as a growing musician that seemed to be happening less and less. Just as long as I could at least get an hour to myself to compose I'd live.

"Hey Sesshomaru!"

I had almost made it to a chair, I sighed. This wasn't going to be fun for me one bit. Turing I looked at the angry voice. A small storm hurled my way in the form of Kikyou. Only two possible things could have made her this angry: Miroku or Kouga.

"What happened this time?" I sounded tired. I was. It never failed those two found a way to mess up.

"I'll tell you what happened! I walk into my room wanting to relax. And what do i see?"

I stood there waiting for her to tell me. She stood there fuming, sighing again I shrugged my shoulders. "What did you find?"

"I room full of blow up dolls!"

Not seeing what the matter was I stared blankly at her.

"Sex dolls Sesshomaru! SEX DOLLS!"

"Listen I understand why you're upset, I'll talk to the boys ok?"

Apparently not appeasing her she stormed off ranting. She wasn't a bad person, but once pissed off she was a pain. I slumped my shoulder, I swear I was going to kill those two.

Sitting down, I threw my legs up on the small coffee table, I pulled the one thing in this world I cherished more then anything onto my lap. I gingerly stroked the neck of my bass affectionately. She was my baby, while everyone else had replaced their instruments when we got signed I had kept mine. None could ever compare this this beautiful Ivory beast. We been through alot.

I started plucking, a rhythm coming from nothing. It was almost a sad melody. Almost depressing , a lot of the things I composed lately was nothing like the bands upbeat sound. Well if that didn't explain how I felt nothing would. shaking my head to clear my head of bad thoughts, I stopped playing an placed my Bass beside me. Laying my head back against the couch I tried to think what was truly going on with me.

" Do you always enjoy being by yourself. You never seem to want to socialize."

'_Of all the rooms he had to walk into mine. Thanks universe.'_

God. No. Not today not right now. Opening one eye I tried my best glare. It's harder then you think with one eye. " Kouga...thought you were consumed by ravenous fans. Pity they didn't tear you part."

Scoffing Kouga, against my attempt to make him angry and leave, threw himself next to me and grinned. " Oh they were ravenous alright. Couldn't keep their hands off me."

Snorted I couldn't help but smile. " I'm sure once they sober up they will be returning in droves demanding a refund for the atrocity of touching you has done to their minds."

"OOH Sessy's in a mood today."

"Stop calling me that. Why don't you go do something useful. Like practice?" I was starting to get annoyed. Don't get me wrong, I loved the guy, but Kouga had a way to get under your skin. Believe me he was deep under mine. Plus this was my hour. My one hour were I could be alone and soak everything in.

"_Sessy _practicing has nothing on angering my favorite bassist. Now be a good little boy an rub mommy's feet." Throwing his muddy booted feet on my lap he leaned back hands behind his head with a smug ass look.

_' Sesshomaru...you can't kill your band-mate. We don't have to to replace a guitarist, audition a new one, an then have him learn our songs' _

Throwing his feet off me I grumble refraining from strangling him. A muddy impression remained on my pants. Maybe we could kill him after all. " You are paying for my dry cleaning."

"Ay, Ay sir I will get right on that."

"How have you managed to not get strangled yet in life?"

"I like to say its my charming personality."

"I somehow doubt that."

Laughing Kouga leaned back, head resting eyes closed, a utter content position.

We sat in silence for a little while him resting, me staring. God only know's what was going through that mind of his. I enjoy my silence, it was a little surprising on the other hand how he was quiet. You'd think the man couldn't last a second without running his mouth. Kouga was born running his mouth. "I think this is a records for you."

"For?" Giving me a funny look I saw his lip twitch. He knew I was going in for the kill. I couldn't let this one rare moment pass where I could make fun of Kouga.

"Not running your damn mouth."

I studied Kouga as he belted out a harsh laugh. This guy never seemed phased by anything. He was always upbeat and looking on the bright side. I'd pay a ass load just to be that calm cool and collect.

Looking closer though I noticed the deep circles under his eyes, his shoulder length brown hair no longer pulled up in his usual pony tail ,but seemed disheveled, as if he had kept running his hands through it over and over again. it seemed no matter how much on the outside he tried to look alright, it seemed on the inside he was fighting a battle. God only knows what and if he was winning it. "You doing alright Kouga? You need to talk about anything?"

Standing up with a cocky smile Kouga mocked bowed. " I'm so sorry lord. Sessy , talking time is over I shall leave you in your deep brooding thoughts." Walking towards the door I watched him closely feeling a sudden tension in the air, that if I didn't know any better he was trying to avoid something. Stopping in the doorway He looked back at me.

That look. The face he gave. He looked broken or defeated. he was sitting on something heavy, This wasn't Kouga's usually playful attitude he looked...serious for a minute. " I just don't like the thought you're alone. I worry about you man." An as if the mood hadn't changed , an he had never been serious his face light up, like a switch had been flicked. No trace of serious lingered, he was his playful self again. " Have a nice night Sessy."

" Yea you too Kouga, get some sleep man you look horrible." Trying to lighten the mood a bit, He smiled and waved as he walked out the door.

Hell. What just happened? That was beyond what I could comprehend. Hope he was ok. Or at least eventually talked to one of us. The way he looked keeping it in wasn't going to be much of a help for too long.


	4. Secrets

**AN:**** My intention with the first 4 chapters was a pretty much over view of the guys an how they were. This is the last one , next chapter ill be delving more into the plot I had in mind. Hopefully I start to get more reviews. Its a really fun sotry I have in mind :)**

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own the show or characters from Inu-Yasha.**

* * *

**"****Loosing control."**

**Chapter 4: Secrets.**

**Kouga P.O.V: **

Well that had been an awkward experience. Felt like that man could look through your soul and pull every dark secret you thought you had hidden. Made me laugh to myself. Of all the people to see my secrets, Sesshomaru really should be the last to know them.

Seeing no point any longer in remaining in this building I decided to spend what remained of the Night I had on our small tour bus. Walking out behind the bar we performed at I spotted the old beast.

Since we weren't as big as Siren, we didn't get the nice flashy pimped out tour buss like they did. WE got what we could afford. So happened to be an old buss that Inu-yasha had scored for cheap. She wasn't to bad, we put a fair amount of time and lover into her, the inside was easily converted to be "Live-able."

Walking in the first 2 sets of rows still remained in tact, Just in case a roadie missed the bus, or the crew decided to punish then and banish them here. That happened pretty often. Everything behind the first two rows was torn up. Allowing us the space to make personal, but tight, makeshift beds. Futon mattresses perched easily on the bolted down wooded pallets Miroku had somehow found,I never ask him to many questions, I probably didn't want to know what he had to do for them. Since space was a issue and it was so limited, we all had heavy thick curtain type material hanging from those little hooks that resembled shower curtain rings, hung from the ceiling. I will tip my hat for that one since it was Sesshoumaru's prima donna tendencies that got us those. We were a band of brothers. Didn't mean we wanted to see each whacking it late at night.

I walked over to my bed, at the far back near the emergency exit door. Compared to the others, my bed was the messiest. I couldn't be bothered, I was a rock star I didn't need to clean. Plus I knew where everything was in my nest not like it was a total caution do not enter zone. It was mine. All that mattered.

Plopping down I relaxed for the first time that night. Glancing at the clock I read 1:00 A.M. Lovely. I get a total of maybe 5 hours. if that, I seemed to have troubles sleeping on this thing, doesn't help when Miroku snores like a grizzly bear.

I buried myself under the blanket trying to fall asleep, my body was heavy and ready for it, my mind on the other hand had other plans. It was running with so many things. _'Brain if you shut up I promise to be a good boy from now on. I'll feed you delicious brain growing...things.'_

I knew my issue. I've know the damn issues for years really. Wasn't an exact easy cure either. What does one do when they have the hots for one of their best friends, oh an the bassist in their band? Yea, exactly. I was up shit creek oh an look, not a paddle in sight.

I never thought in a million years I'd grow feeling for a friend, let alone my best friend. They just..happened. I was always good at hiding it and not letting it affect me. He made it easy really. I never once saw him with a women or man. I never had to battle with jealousy.

He is this deep brooding almost bordering depressing guy on the outside, but once you crack the surface you realize what a talented sincere guy he really was. he cared for everyone in his life. the man would take a bullet for any of us. And that stuck to me. Probably why I fell for him.

My feelings really didn't start to grow to that of lust till this damn tour. This damn tour. It was like my eyes were opened for the first time. I would catch myself watching him like a cat stalked its prey. They way he moved, talked, or the rare occasion he cracked a smile and laughed. He was like a drug, and god damn if I would sell my soul for just one hit. His presence on stage was a whole other ball game. The lights would hit him and I swore I could hear the damn angels sing. i'd watch him strum that bass, I envisioned my self replacing that bass and having his delicate fingers running over my body an light gentle strokes..

It all was slowly taking a toll on me. I started feeling myself falling into a depression. It wasn't like I had anyone to talk to about this either. I was on the road 24/7, I really didn't have time to sit down and shrink it out. I definitely couldn't talk to any of the guys. I could only imagine how they reacted. _'Hey guys so listen, I think I'm gay oh and I have the hots for Sesshomaru.'_

curling harder into a ball groaning, I needed help. This wasn't good.

"Oh sorry, did I wake you?" _Oh you are a cruel bitch universe._ Looking up I watched Sesshomaru saunter over to neatly made bed, sitting down he looked over at me and I felt my blood speed up. How can one look do that to you? "Kouga? you ok?"

Shit. "uh yea sorry tired, no by the way you didn't wake me. Brains keeping em up."

Staring at me for a second like he always did, that look of _I know what you're thinking. You're not fooling me,_ He shrugged his shoulders and laid down. "Alright well I'm out for the night. Just ran into Miroku an he should be here soon as well. Helps to threaten smashing his boys."

"I'm here. And thanks, you scared that bartender away nice an good." Miroku came sulking up the stairs looking at Sesshoumaru like he just took his favorite toy an broke it into a million pieces.

"I didn't say a word to your lovely lady friend." Sesshoumaru propped himself up on his elbow, his long hair cascading around him. He looked amazing. Jesus really? Man had a career in hair modeling.

"Oh you're right but you did happen to tell me that I left my rash cream in the room and it was time to apply it!" Looking at me like I would defend him he threw his hands out "She thinks I have something!" Storming to his bed Miroku roughly pulled his curtain shut, mumbling under his breath the whole time.

"For all we know you do have something. "

"You are a evil creature Sesshomaru." Miroku shouted one more time before growing silent.

"I have to have fun some way." Sesshomaru glanced at me and smile. My chest tightened.

Heading straight to his bed Inu-Yasha was the last on the bus. He looked just as beat as the rest of us. Not knowing where he had been the last hour was weird. Inu-Yasha was a grown ass man so what he did in his spare time wasn't my concern. He half smiled as he nodded at me and Sesshomaru before closing his own curtain.

"Welp guess it's lights out. night Kouga." Pulling his shirt off I found it hard to turn my gaze off that rock hard chest. Licking my lips I laughed.I had to get myself to gether. Rolling over so i couldn't see him anymore I closed my eyes tight praying sleep took me.

"Yea night."

"Kouga?"

"Yea?" I looked over where Sesshomaru was laying.

"Did you put a bunch of blow up dolls In Kikyou's room?"

The whole bus erupted in laughter. Shaking my head I rolled over. Ending the night on a good note.

And just like that the bus grew silent. I laid there with Sesshomaru right across from me, his breathing grew gentle and I know he had fallen asleep. Lets hope I could do the same thing.


	5. Cold shower

**AN:**** Coffee in system: check. Alright! Lets do this! I was thinking of in stead just focusing on the guys, adding the girls points of view would be nice. Because we need more of them here!**

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own the show or characters from Inu-Yasha.**

* * *

**"Loosing control."**

**Chapter 5: Cold shower.**

I shielded my eyes as a ray of sun broke through the buses window. Feeling blinded I groaned and rolled over trying to get back that peaceful sleep that was so rudely interrupted. The sun had plans of its own though, as that single way began to expand and grow as the sun slowly made its presence.

Groggily dragging myself into a sitting potion I glanced at my phone seeing the time. 6:00 A.M. lovely. To damn early, I had what? a total of 5 hours? I was on the first shit to dive the bus as well. God I hope a roadie was sent out on a coffee run. Maybe I could bribe them to bring me some. Nice and black, kick me in the ass an get me going.

Stretching and yawning I force myself to get moving, No need to procrastinate this anymore. Popping my head out of my designated sleeping area, I saw that I was the only one awake. Miroku's leg hung out an his snores were the most distinguishable. Sesshoumaru's curtain was close so there fore he was out, and I could make out the top of Kouga's hair buried under mounds of blankets. Lucky bastards.

Throwing on yesterdays shirt I decided to pop over to Siren's bus. Since our bus lacked a running shower the girl's were nice enough to allow us poor slobs to bum showers from theirs. Hopefully one of them was awake to let me in. Grabbing on of the clean towels we kept in a crate near the from of the bus I head towards the exit.

Walking outside I instantly regretted not wearing shoes. The mornings fresh air hit me, dewy mist had formed on the grass we were parked next to, my foot hit a patch as little beads of water gathered around my exposed air was crisp and clean,yet a slight breeze could be felt. Nothing to bad but a nice wake me up.

Reaching the girl's bus door I knocked, taking a step back I looked around me . We were still camped out at the bars parking lot, luckily they let us or we'd have been on another 24 hour drive to the next town. Those were never fun.

Seeing a bar parking lot in the hours of the morning always seemed out of place. Like a deserted town, no cars, no people. Just empty pavement.

"Just going to keep looking at the empty parking lot, or come in?"

"Yea, Knowing you have to wait a bit longer for me to acknowledged your presence is well worth it." Turning back to her I saw she wasn't the least bit amused.

"Keep it up asshole an you won't get a shower." She nodded. towards the towel in my arms. Goose bumps prickled along her exposed legs from the fresh morning air. She crossed her arms in a attempt to keep her body heat in. All it did was push her breast together.

Trying not to not focus on her chest, I asked, "The rest of the girls awake?"

"Eh Sango went for a short jog, Kikyou went somewhere. No idea. we're morning birds unlike you strapping young lads." Explained why she was alert an perk .

"6 isn't exactly late you know."

"For you maybe." moving her hands from her chest I couldn't help but noticed the slight bounce her breast presented at being allowed to rest at a natural position. Jesus I had to stop before I sprouted a morning How ya do boner. wouldn't exactly be a good way to start the day. Well yea it would but I don't know how much she would appreciate it.

" You wouldn't keep a man from healthy hygiene habits would you?' Trying to distract myself seemed the only logical way out of this.

Smirking she nodded. "I'm sure there's a river or lake near by you could dive into."

"An catch a parasite? or worse drown? I think not Ma'am. I don't think you wanna have to explain to my friends why they were out a lead singer because you wanted to deny me a shower."

"I couldn't get lucky enough for you to get a parasite."

"The same could be said for you."

Sucking in a breath I saw her try not to smile, shifting feet she slowly made a opening for me to push my way through. Looking her over I noticed and appreciated the type of sleep wear she preferred. if that's what she wanted to call sleep wear.

A tight white tank top hugged her chest. Her navel making a wonderful appearance made me ever more grateful on how short it was, no bra was visible, her nipples making a peek through the thin material. Thank you morning breeze. The things I assumed were meant to be shorts were so short I was more then sure if she turned her back on me now I was more then positive that wonderful ass would be on full display.

"When you are done leeching the showers open."

Looking up I forgot I was staring. " Put some clothes on and maybe I wouldn't stare. Lucky it wasn't Miroku here."

"Oh Miroku would at least have complimented me. He is a professional when it comes to a women's body."

I narrowed my eyes as I felt a stab of jealously. I didn't like the idea of Miroku oogling Kagome up one bit. Nor the thought of him knowing the in's an outs of her body boded well with me.

"Miroku's also a leech. Heard he has a nasty rash." Grumbling I moved past her and headed to the shower, slamming the door behind me. Childish yes, But hell Mental images made it so.

**Kagome:**

I watched as Inu-yasha pushed his way past me. A once playful mood seem to have gone south fast at the Mention of Miroku. Did he think something happened or was happening between the two of us? Not only was that crazy that was down right disturbing.

You think by now the guy would have caught on to my flirting. Was he truly that oblivious? Did I have to strip down and ravage him to get the hint? Knowing him that would go over his head as well.

My feelings turned from hurt to anger, he didn't know me. I had standards dammit!

I was walking my way towards the bathroom door to bang an hurl all kinds of insults his way when I hear the bus door creaking open. Momentarily being distrated I stored the rant I had ready for Inu for a later moment.

"Kagome?"

"What?!" I snapped at whoever it was. i'd apologize later. if it was someone who deserved it.

"Uh should I come back?"

Turned out I wouldn't be saying sorry after all. I stared at the very culprit of all this. I narrowed my eyes, what I wanted to do was punch him in his smug face."Probably a good idea. scram!"

Watching as Miroku scramble out of the bus like hell hounds were on his heels I huffed. I needed to calm down. it wasn't as serious as I was making it. Not like me and Inu had a thing. We hinted, and played, but he was so so worried it would intervene in out work relationship.

I could understand that. That even made me appreciate him a hell of a lot more.I respected him. Didn't mean I had to like it.

hearing the water turn off I knew Inu-Yasha would be coming out any minute now. Nearly diving into my tiny cubical like bed area I pulled my suitcase from the under bed storage. I needed to get dressed. From the little playful banter a few minutes ago before Inu-Yasha turned into a pout-asaurous I was clearly under dressed.

Pulling out a random pair of holey jeans and a old shirt I threw them on, an I was ready to yell at him. Oh he was going to get it. Not the most attractive outfit I owned, but I didn't need to distract him any further then I did when I opened the bus door.

Till he stepped out of the shower. Shirtless. In just a towel.

I should have dressed like a whore.

God damn.

Steam poured out curling around him. His back was turned to me while he toweled off his wet hair. I could see just a bit of his profile, his eyes were closed lips half parted. he clearly enjoyed himself in that shower. I licked my now try lips. I had never seen a finer specimen of a man in my life.

Slinging the towel over one shoulder he turned to look at me. His Black hair clung to his face and shoulders showing it was still slightly damp. I tried my best not to stare but it was hard. His chest bare let me have that rare peak at his muscular form. He was built but not to big. Almost that of a swimmer or runner who kept himself well fit.

"Sorry i forgot to bring clothes." He held is arm out in a gesture to prove he really didn't bring extra clothes.

_I'm not. Should have left the towel too._ Shaking my head I nervously smiled. "Uh you're fine, I mean not like **fine ** but fine...I mean it's fine." Turning my back I mentally smacked myself. So much for letting him have it.

"Uh thanks. I'm going to get out here. listen sorry I snapped before getting a shower. you didn't deserve that. i'm just cranky."

"Its um ok, you're welcome."

"I'll see ya next stop Kagome." Coming over he gave me a quick peck on the cheek, a friendly gesture but in this current situation not so much. It took all my will power not to yank that towel from him and licking every inch of his exposed body.

"See ya Inu-yasha.."

Watching him walk out I realized a cold shower was in oprder. Maybe two.


	6. A deal was made

**AN:**** Chapters have been fixed as far as I know. Let me know if they aren't. **

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own the show or characters from Inu-yasha.**

* * *

**"Loosing control."**

**Chapter 6: A deal was made.**

**Miroku:**

I ran as fast as I could from the girl's bus. Whatever was eating Kagome I clearly had become a target. Guess that shower would just wait till she calmed down. Haven't been awake longer then five minutes and already a women was after me. Good or bad I'd put that in my keepsies.

Raising my arms above my head I stretched as far as I could. Coming outside with no shirt wasn't as bad as I thought, the suns warmth tickled over the flesh of my exposed chest. It felt nice and warm. Not as nice and warm as my bed had been, but We all can;t sleep our day away.

I finished my stretches just in time to see my favorite person jog up. "Thanks for waiting for me." It was a usual daily ritual I had recently picked up, jogging with Sango every time we were parked after a show.

I use to watch her in the beginning, running free and as fast as she wanted. She later told me while running , it was her escape. She enjoyed that one moment of not being the drummer of Siren's Theory, but just normal Ol'Sango.

"Sorry about that, I did wait for you. You know me. 5:30 and I'm gone." She was bent over hands resting on her knees while she caught her breath. A couple deep breaths and she was good, standing back up she took a long drag from the water bottle she carried around.

Walking over to where she had stopped I took in her all in. She wore her usual jogging apparel. A Light Pink Capri, sports bra set in the same shade. She had the same set in every color there was. Not that I noticed.

"All good. I wanted sleep more then struggling to keep up with your gazelle ass."

"Not my fault you run like a little old lady."

"I hope you know, I run like a graceful dancer. I could out run anyone."

Oh really?" Snorting hysterically she pointed a finger at me."Wasn't it last week you who BEGGED me to slow my pace?"

"I don't recall."

I watched her as she rolled her eyes at me. Irritating her had become a fun way to pass the time. Since I wasn't aloud any bodily contact I tried any chance I could to pick on her. It was my way of letting her know, yes this is flirting. And this was as far as I was aloud to go.

She had become the one person on this tour that I really let see the real me. On those runs we both became regular people. I told her things I never told my band mates, my best friends. Even through all the jokes she knew I meant good.

I honestly enjoyed that one hour of the day, even if it was running it was time I got to spend with Sango. Missing it today honestly had bummed me out. There was always another way around it.

I moved in her way when I saw her heading towards the bus door. " You owe me now though.

"Like I said be on time next time, I don't wait for anyone."

"I'm sure you make an exception for me."

tsking Sango moved pasted me and towards her bus. "See ya around Miroku."

"Oh whoa ,whoa ,whoa! You are so not getting away that easy. you. Me. Breakfast." Slamming my body on he door, I avoided her from entering the bus. I was going to get my hour if it killed me.

"Miroku we have to head out in ," Scowling at her watch," 2 hours. I still wanna shower."

"I won't keep you out late. C'mon you owe me. You made me miss my exercise least you can do is watch me eat myself into a heart attack."

I watched as conflict ran over her face. After a moment she nodded. "Fine,Im changing at least." Catching my smirk she shot a scathing look at me." You go put some clothes on as well. A hour, ,Miroku I mean it! So god help me, if you make me late an miss a shower I will tamper your drums next set."

"You wouldn't dare!"

"Try me."

**...**

It took me a record of 5 minutes to find an throw on a clean shirt. Almost out the door I bumped into Inu-Yasha who glared daggers at me. What ddi I do this time? "Everything ok?"

Sighing heavily he patted me on the shoulder. "Women."Rubbing his face in frustration he looked me over a puzzled look on his face. "Where are you off to this early?" As if knowing he said something stupid he smiled. Never mind."

"Not like that. Me and Sango are going to get some food."

A knowing look crossed his face. Smiling he headed back to his bed, not before shouting over his shoulder. "Don't be don't do anything stupid."

"Yea. You don't want me to have to come looking for you." Sesshomaru rolled over and galred before rolling back over to continue his sleep.

Not wanting to waste another second I hopped out of the sausage fest.

Walking out of our bus I saw Sango patiently waiting for me. She changed faster then I had, losing the workout gear and switching to her tight leather pants and a equally black tank closer I noticed it was one of out band shirts we sold after every show. She must have copped one and cropped it. I don't know why it felled me with pride to see her wearing something of mine.

The weather was cool enough for her to pull off the hot pink leather jacket ,that had to have been made tailored to her. It hit her mid waist, and was covered in studs from shoulder to hip.. A jacket like that had to have cost a pretty penny. enjoying the bad girl vibe she was throwing at me made me chuckle. She was bad alright, as bad as a basket of kittens.

Her eyebrows raised as she looked me over, "My Miroku you do ...go fast."

"I Have you know my timing is impeccable. Never once have I been told I was a fast shooter." Winking I took a shot, and gently swatted her ass. Moving out of reach before she could land a blow I laughed.

"Ass!" Scowling Sango started walking towards the little dinner down the way from where we were. It was in perfect walking distance. Gave me more time with her. Watching her walk, hips swaying slightly, didn't really help my just friends status.

God she was beautiful. I always thought that about her, Made keeping a distance from her all the more harder. Might explain why every night, after every show there was always a new women. None compared to Sango, but I kept trying to fill that void.

"You going to catch up or are we never going to get there?" She had been staring at me for a few seconds, without me realizing I hadn't moved from where I was.

Sheepishly I smiled. "Sorry was admiring the view."

"There is just no hope for you Mirkou." She fought to keep the smile off her faceabnd failed.

"Sure there is." I looked at her, really looked at her an let her see the look on my face. i was totally open and raw with her. "I'll just have to prove it one day."

* * *

**Sango:**

The look he gave me was..unlike Miroku. I didn't have to much time to get into it, He took a hold of my hand and started dragging me along. I felt a flutter the moment he touched my hand.

Miroku had been the most obnoxiously, whorish member of Among the Lost. When they joined up on our tour the first thing he did was try to charm his way into my pants. Being around enough men in my lifetime I had let him down, none to easily. Instead of taking it hard he simple laughed , he took the rejection well. Not to pat him on the back since a minute later he had easily found a substitute with a fan. Man went through women more then Kagome did clothes.

In time we got closer. He joined me on my morning jogs, and we got to know each pretty well. I started to really appreciate any moment I got alone with him. he was a charmer , but had a big heart.

I'd catch the way he would look at me from time to time. And I enjoyed it. I started developing feelings for him and hated myself for it. No good comes from falling for that bad boy. My heart was only setting itself up for pain. Miroku couldn't keep it in his pants long enough to commit to anymore.

Plus there was that pesky un spoken rule his band had. No fraternizing with the enemy. Or should I say other band.

"Here we go."

Looking up I noticed I hadn't really paid attention to my surroundings, what felt like seconds flat we had made it to the little dinner. Turning back I tried spotting the buses. Not seeing them let me know it took longer to get here then I thought. That happens when you're to busy analyzing a non existent relationship.

I stared harder at the building he drug me looked run down, like no one came here .That it's true purpose was to take up space, make the area look filled. Giving Miroku a look of , this better not be a joke, he just laughed. Shivers ran through me. A laugh shouldn't affect me. Get it together girl.

I licked my lips as my eyes roamed over him. He chose to wear a sleeveless shirt. Did he know how much I loved staring at his toned sleeved arms? he was the only man I ever seen who generally looked drop dead sexy with arms so full of color not a speck of skin tattoo's always made me want run my hands over them, inspecting each and every spec of ink he had, Inspect em all right with my mouth and tongue.

_Calm yourself. Your hormones are just rampant. When was the last time you got laid?_

Clearing my throat I pulled away and out of his grasp. Losing contact with him felt like my world was being pulled away, I felt empty and lost.

"We going to stand here or go eat?" Glancing at my watch I sucked a breath in. We already had killed 20 minutes of our hour. This was not amusing.

"I'm suddenly not hungry."

Good because neither was I. Least not for food.

Stop that. Eating fellow tour members was frowned upon.

"So you dragged me out here for...?" Must get a that idea out of my mind NOW.

"I enjoy the time we have together. Sorry if that put a damper on things for you. Our runs are usually my way to blow steam and I missed it today."

He turned, his eyes staring holes into me. Staring into those indigo orbs I an felt Like I understood. I Understood completely what he was saying. i felt the same way. My day wasn't complete without a run, or even a glance of Miroku.

"I understand Miroku. I'd be lying if I didn't say I didn't enjoy the time we had together."

" Watch it your make my ego bigger then it needs to be."

"I mean it..I feel weird not at least seeing you."

He studied me for a while like thinking of what to say next. Nodding he smiled. "Sango...when this tours over. Everything's done. Have dinner with me."

My breath caught in my throat. He couldn't be serious? This was cruel and unusual punishment.

"I uh, would love nothing but to say yes...but.."

"But?"

"Miroku...what. What do you expect to come from that?" I felt a little of me grow sad. As much as I would love nothing more then to do that I know nothing good would come from it.

Looking away i watched as he shifted his weight, Looking down at he feet he simple shrugged his shoulders. Was this hard for him? "It's really no secret that Ive always had an eye on you. I just though what was stopping us was the stupid rule Inu-Yasha had."

Looking up at me,my heart crushed. He was generally asking this of me and I pretty much shut him down in not so many words. I had to be honest with him and myself.

"It wouldn't work...You are a great guy Miroku. You just have commitment issues." There I said it. I nicely told you you can't keep it in your pants.

"I can change you know..I only sleep with all these girls is because.." Whispering his last words I began to feel him pull away from me. " Sango, I wanna try. I'd hate myself years from now I'm wondering 'what if.' I'm not saying marry me. I just want a dinner, one dinner date. After that balls in your court."

We stood there staring at one another. I thought about what he said. The 'What if' replayed over and over. I knew that if I didn't I'd end up thinking the same thing years from now.

I also don't think I could last the rest of this tour knowing that till then he was screwing everything that moved. A idea popped into mind, if he agreed then I would give this a shot. Please god let him accept this crazy idea.

"How about this. I will go on that dinner date end of tour...but , an oh big boy this is a big but." His eyes lit up at my words, a light seemed to have light up in him. Here is to hoping with my next words he still felt that way. " You have to remain celibate the rest of the tour."

"Done." Not even a hesitation.

"Miroku did you what I asked of you?"

"Yea, I can do it. "

I laughed. " No offense buddy but I don't think you went a day not getting some."

"I want this Sango...so i'm going to do it."

He looked like a kid in a candy store. i don't remember the last time I ever seen him look this happy. It made me feel good myself. Maybe Miroku really could do this. I could of had him wrong all this time. I really did hope he proved me wrong. I know there was no going back now, and I didn't want to get hurt.

"Now We need to get back to thew bus, I remember you saying you were in need of a shower. And honestly so am I." Holding his elbow out to me I looped my arm through as we trudged off back to out temporary homes.

Smiling to myself , I allowed myself to enjoy the walk back.

if he said he could do it, id have all the faith in the world in him. I needed him to do this for me too.

_Please don't let me down Miroku._


	7. Morning surprise

**AN:****WARNING! Rated M for a reason, and this chapter will be the first of many adult themed scenes. If you're not 18, and or do not appreciate man on man...might wanna leave.**

**Disclaimer****:**** I do not own anything related to Inu-yasha or the characters. I do not make any profit from this.**

* * *

**"Loosing Control."**

**Chapter 7: Morning surprise.**

**Kouga:**

Trying my best to ignore all the sounds around me I buried myself deeper into my blankets. First it was Inu, then what I assumed as Miroku, then again Miroku. What the hell were these guys doing up so early making so much damn noise?

Ear plugs. I needed to invest in some ear plugs. I will have to remember that when I wake up. Who am I kidding? i hardly remember where I am when I wake up let alone to buy something.

Rolling onto my back I grouped around looking for my phone, all I seem to have met was cold air. I know I put it here some where. After attempt five I finally found the damn thing. Pulling my arm back into my oven of body head I started at the screen trying to make sense of it. My phone said 7:00AM, my mind just didn't want to register this as being true. I couldn't remember ever being up this early.

No use in trying to remain sleeping anymore, might as well and start this day. Sitting up my body groaned in protest, rubbing my groggy face I took a look around. Inu and Miroku were no where to be found. _Good. I'm cranky enough to just bite some heads off._

Glancing over at Sesshomaru's bed I saw him sleeping. Well what parts of Sesshomaru i could see. His pale bare skin shone , peeking out from masses of silvery hair. It wrapped itself around his arms and legs in elegant hair tendrils. It didn't seem to stir him in the least bit. How he slept in that tangled mess baffled me. I'd have chopped it all off by now. He managed it like it eas never a problem though, years of practice I could only guess.

I watched as he moaned and rolled over, His face content in sleep. Sleeping Sesshomaru was like a whole different person. he was his most relaxed, he couldn't mask away his emotions. He was like a open book. A cute open book.

Pressing the palms of my hands into my eyes I shook my head. I had to stop being a creep. Stop staring so damn hard before you get caught. Try explaining why you were creeping on your sleeping friend. Sure that would go over brilliantly.

"What time is it?"

Snapping my head up I looked over to see a wide awake Sesshomaru looking in my direction.

"Uh like 7:05."

" Mm."

He sat up , elbows on his knees as he rubbed his face trying to still fully wake up. i tried to stare as hard as I did when he had been sleeping. I didn't want to be ad obvious.

"Surprise I caught you."

"Why's that?" I felt the blood drain from my face. he had caught me watching?

"Because," he chuckled softly," You never wake up before 10."

Dear god. I think I almost had a heart attack. To damn close," Uh yea this morning was especially noisy."

" I didn't notice."

"You also sleep like a damn rock."

"Kouga...I saw you."

I stared at Sesshomaru. Losing all words i just sat there opening and closing my mouth. He was staring at me with a look not like him. It held so much heat, and lust? Swallowing I cleared my throat. i had no idea what to say or do.

"It's ok..I like when you look at me like that." His voice was husky, in one swift movement he was standing and making his way towards me. He glided slowly, as if to make sure i had only eyes on him. Kneeling he slowly crept next to me, His hair trailing along my arm tickling a trail as it moved along my arm.

Scooting back as far as i could on my bed, Not really running away just confused to what was happening. I had always wanted this. Why was this happening now?

Like a cat he kept crawling till he was face level, slowly bending down to my ear I all but had to contain a groan just from a mere whisper, "And I know you like watching me." Playfully tugging my ear lobe between his teeth he pulled back, staring at me.

"What...what if one of the guys come's back?"

"So?" licking his lips he flashed a devilish grin."Let em watch."

He was like a uncontrollable force, not wasting another second he captured my lips with his. I felt his tongue push past my lips demanding to be let in. Letting him in i felt as his tongue explore my mouth, His lips were hot against mine. The kiss becoming more feverish and demanding.

My hands explored his bare back, his skin hot to the touch, I moaned into his mouth. Lust building up in me making me feel like I was going to explode. I was to far gone now, couldn't turn back, i needed this just as much as he did.

Pulling back Sesshomaru sat on his heel, grasping my hands he made a show of placing them on his chest. Painfully and slowly I was guided as I want my hands over his chest, my finger tips grazing his nipples, down his lower abdomen till they rested right above his hip bone.

Letting go of my hands I had now full control. Not wanting to waste a second I urged him closer, guiding him by the hips. When i was satisfied by the distance I had Sesshomaru straddled over my lap. Leaning in I laid a trail of killed from his navel to hip. I stole a peek up to see his head thrown back, eyes half lidded .

Enjoying that look more then anything, I focused my attention lower. Blowing a hot stream of air I teases his ever growing erection, it strained against his pajama bottoms, yearning to be let free.

"My Sesshomaru, I wouldn't figure you as the commando type."

"There's a lot you don't know about me."

"I guess I'm just." nipping at his hip he gasped, "Going to have ti find out then."

"I look forward to it."

I smiled pulling those bottoms down , and being greeted with nothing but bare glorious Sesshomaru. Gently but firmly I took his throbbing member into one hand.

With pressure and care I started pumping my arm up and down. Watching myself jerk him off turned me on even more. i felt myself growing harder just watching . From Sesshomaru's reaction assumed I wasn't doing it wrong. Sesshomaru purred in a satisfactions, his hands digging into my hair gently pulling. With one hand I stroked at a faster pace, and with my remaining hand I released my own aching cock.

I guided his hand to my own need, not missing a beat he started a slow paced a deep breath I tried to remain calm. I wasn't going to allow myself to bust yet.

Wanting more of him I bent down, licking the tip tasting some of his weeping semen. a shudder ran through him making me all the more excited to entice more of those form him.

Continuing on licking the tip, I slowly pulled more and more of that hot flesh into my mouth. earning myself more moans and hair pulls. Creating myself a rhythm I took in more and more of Sesshomaru, licking and sucking my way along his length.

"Kouga,,," His voice rough with ecstasy. He sounded on the verge of coming.

"Mmm Kouga..."

"...Kouga..!."

His voice started to sound different. Distorted, as if he was being pulled farther and farther. What was going on?

"Kouga come on!.." Even farther..I started to panic pulling back I lloked up. Sesshomaru's face was blurring. Reaching up i tried to touch him, see what was happening.

"Kouga wake the hell up!"

I sat up in a startled bolt. Gasping for air, my head collided with something. I felt pain race through my head. Fuck that hurt.

"Seriously...last time I wake you up. Hurry up were heading out in 10."

I stared at Sesshomaru confused...It was a dream. That whole damn time it was a dream. Eyes wide I looked around. i can't believe that happened. This over whelming feeling of disappointment didn't help either.

" Um, I recommend you solve your tent issue before getting up and seeing everyone." Not trying to make eye contact I looked down at what Sesshomaru was saying. Oh Jesus. Well it was a wet dream. Gathering my blanket I tried the best I could to hide my Mr. happy.

"Yea uh...sure."

Shaking his head Sesshomaru walked away. I watched mortified. What the hell was I going to do?


	8. Everything is wonderful

**"Loosing Control."**

**Chapter 8: Everything is wonderful.**

"Are we there yet?"

"Shut it Kouga. " Inu-Yasha turned his head enough to give Kouga a scathing look before turning his attention back to the road.

"I'm just curious about our where about, sir!"

"You should worry more about me coming back there and messing you up for bothering me!"

"Someone pissed in your Wheaties today huh?"

"Kouga..."

"I need coffee." Miroku whined along with Kouga. It was like a bus full of toddlers this morning.

"You were out an hour. You had you're shot." I sat on my bed trying to finish a few songs. It was difficult with twiddle dumb and twiddle dumber harassing everyone.

"I had other things to do."

"Not our problem, we shouldn't have to suffer the whining."

"I wasn't whining." Pouting, Miroku moved up to sit next to Kouga. They both stared at each other with a knowing smile on their faces. If I didn't know better these two had plotted before we started moving to try their hardest to drive me and Inu-Yasha crazy. Sighing a sigh of relief I closed my eyes and went back to my bass, silence that greeted us was a blessing.

I listened as Miroku and Kouga chattered in low voices, throwing glances at me then Inu-Yasha before bending their heads back together to chatter around some more. We had achieved maybe a second of silence before the two started up again.

"We there yet?"

"Mom, Kouga's touching me."

"Mom, Miroku put his foot on my side of the seat."

"Mom, Kouga is STILL touching me."

'One more...One more person so much as utters a word..I swear to all that is holy I will turn this bus around!" Slamming his fist on the wheel Inu-Yasha's eyes looked crazed.

Miroku turned to me, eyes bright with innocence, a mock expression of hurt on his face. "Daddy, mommy is yelling."

"Shut it you two!" Inu-Yasha and I yelled simultaneously. Smirking at Miroku the both of them retreated to the back of the bus to do only god knew what.

Putting my bass down in defeat I leaned back against the bus. We had been on the road all morning, we were all testy. I know Kouga and Miroku were just trying to blow off stream and try to find fun where they could. It just always seem to be at everyone else's expense.

Groaning I stood up walking to the seats in the front. Taking one directly behind Inu-Yasha I watched as he kept nervously glancing the mirror at our fellow band mates. "How ya holding up?"

"I swear..I'm going to kill them."

"We need em too much. You feel like finding a new drummer an guitarist?"

Thinking about it He let out a long breath. "Sometimes it seems like a good idea."

" Suck it up butter cup. Now how much longer till were at the venue?"

Glancing at his phone,he looked at our current gps, he shrugged. "20 minutes max."

Patting him on the shoulder I grunted a laugh. "It's almost over."

"Yea you're forgetting after that it's a 24 hour shot to the next one..I'm going to drug them tonight."

Shit. I don't think I could manage another 2 hours with these clowns in a bus. Moaning I rolled my eyes. Might as well make myself useful. "I'll take driving tonight."

"You sure?"

I shrugged, I didn't want to but might as well cut the guy slack. "What are siblings for?"

He noticed the sarcasm , but kept quiet. Didn't wanna lose his one shot at getting out of bus duty. Turning his attention back to the road I took that as my dismissal.

I found my way back to my bed, twenty more minutes wasn't bad could be worse. Flopping down I reached a hand out to grab my bass. Catching nothing but air I turned to look where it had been. Gone. Growling I know exactly what happened to it. I was going to kill those two today.

I followed the trail of snickering which lead me right to Miroku's bed, throwing back his curtain they both looked up smiles on their faces. They sat cross legged, a deck of cards before them, so calm and collect.

"Sessy why so angry looking?"

"Yeah, _Sessy_ whats gotten into you? Forgot your manners?" Not looking up from his hand Kouga continued to play like nothing was wrong.

I felt my blood boil. Their little game had gone to far. No one touched my baby. "Where is it?" I kept my voice calm, even. I couldn't rip their heads off yet. Yet.

"Where's what?"

"You damn well know what the fuck I'm talking about!"

"Language sir! There are young ears round!"

"Hm Miroku you have any idea what he's even going on about?"

"Can't say that I do." Not trying to even hide the fact he knew what was up, Miroku fell into a fit of giggles. Like this was just all to hilarious.

Not being able to contain myself I grabbed Miroku by the shirt dragging him out of Kougas cubby, Voice still calm and even I smiled pleasantly. "Miroku...If you don't give me my bass. I will make sure, every town from here on out no women will even so much as look in you're direction."

"Fine by me," gently patting my hand he whispered," Now let me go dear. I don't want my shirt winkled." How had that threat not work? He knew I was capable of it. Narrowing my eyes I stared at him. if I couldn't hit him at the libido I'd hit him at my level of pain.

"I will smash every drum, and bass drum, I will crack every bloody cymbal you have...till I find my bass."

"You don't have the balls."

"Try me...I'ma man on the edge!"

Gulping he knew things had gone to a serious level. Averting his eyes in Kouga's direction, he gave away the ring leader of this sick joke.

Growling I let him go, hearing the sudden thud of him hitting the floor , and turned my attention to Kouga. Crawling into his space i put my face within inches of his. his eyes had grown larger, the cards in his hand falling onto the mattress. Breathing heavily he tried to make light of the situation.

" Now Sesshomaru. I have nothing you can destroy. I wont be intimidated that easily."

Smiling I chuckled darkly. "Kouga...simple minded Kouga..I know something. Something about our little guitarist, that if it got out he would be devastated. Maybe ruined." Hoping he didn't call my bluff I tried to remain my composure. I had to believe I knew something, even if I didn't.

"You...you know..?" The color had drained from his face. Ah. So There really was a secret. That would be for another time, all I wanted right now was my baby.

I nodded slowly, still smiling. I was close I could feel it. licking his lips, he nodded towards the other beds.. "Please Sess...don't don't tell...your bass is under my bed."

I watched as he pulled away, withdrawing into himself. His eyes were down casted refusing to look at any of us. Something serious was going on with that boy. I almost felt bad for lying. After this mess I'd talk to him. Right now I needed to find my bass.

Nodding I patted him gently. Stalking over to Kouga's bed I dug around, hitting my bass I pulled her out. Cradling her to my chest I looked over at a still pale Kouga. Not wanting him to be this messed up I whistled till he looked up. " By the way. I don't know any secret."

His eyes turned to fury as he looked at me, flicking me off he violently closed the curtain. Miroku retreated a safe distance as well. least the remainder of this ride would be a quiet one.

* * *

We made it in less then twenty minutes. Apparently Inu-Yasha was just as ready as I was to get the hell off this bus for a while. The moment we were parked he zoomed out not saying a word to anyone.

A couple roadies jumped on the bus right after his departure, preparing to haul our equipment off. Miroku followed Inu's lead , leaving to wander around before the show. Bass strapped to my back I started to head off myself. I noticed Kouga's curtain still closed. Was he still here? By the sign of a light glowing under the curtain that would be a yes.

Sighing I rolled my neck. It was partially my fault he was a mess. Why did I have to sooth feelings right now? He had it coming to him. Now one touched my bass. No one. Pulling his curtain back I met his sad eyes. Fuck. " Kouga. The hell is wrong?"

Shaking his head he stood, pushing past me. "We here? Good I think I need a drink."

Grunting I grabbed his arm. I was beyond not in the mood for games at this point. "Listen I don't know what the fuck is up. If you have an issue, a problem were a band. Were friends were here. You don't have to talk now but sooner or later you will. Don't let whatever this is eat you alive."

He slowly nodded. " I know. Don't worry I'm good. If I need group therapy ill let you be the first to know." Pulling from my grip he hopped off the bus.

A pit in my stomach ached, something was wrong. I was worried about the guy.. he had something deep going on and it would consume him sooner or later if he didnt do something about it. Rubbing my face I followed suit. Right now I just needed off this damn thing id worry about everyone souls after this show. I didnt have enough hours in the day to deal with this crap.

Shielding my eyes from the bright sun I grumbled. "Why did we book a day show?"

"Because not everyone is a vampire like you."

Turning towards the cool voice I tried to hide the frown I felt forming. "Kikyou."

"Sesshomaru." She smiled and walked close. Behind her the rest of the girls boarded off waving politely, I watched as they got to go freely into the building. I wish I was as lucky.

"Did you need something?"

"Did you talk to your two clowns?"

I stared down at her. Was she really still harping about this? "Yea and they said sorry." Turning I made my way to the building. I needed out of the sun and away from getting grilled for something I didn't do.

"I mean it Sesshomaru, your like the unofficial leader. You keep those two in check. If they pull another stunt like that again..."

"You'll what? Kick us off the tour?" I started to raise my voice, anger searing across my face.

She pursed her lips together, narrowing her eyes she stormed passed me. "I couldn't get that lucky! Only reasonable person in your group seems to be Inu-Yasha. I'll just go talk to him."

"it was a joke pull the stick out of your ass!"

I watched as she stormed past me. Again, not enough hours for this crap. Hope Inu handled that mess better then me. Sure I'd hear all about it. Shrugging my bass higher I continued my walk to the building. I dealt with two asses the whole way here, an now a pissed off Kikyou. Please can we end this night on a good note?

...

I must have cursed us. Tonight had to have been one of the worse nights ever for us. Inu-Yasha's mic glitched and stopped working, Kouga had a string snap and cut his arm open, and My amp started to smoke and had caught fire at the end. least Miroku got away with just a bolt in his seat popping out making him fall off the back of the stage.

I walked out towards our van preparing myself for a all night drive session.

The guys followed close behind, we all looked defeated and just ready to end the night.

"One show guys. Tomorrow will be better." Kagome smiled at us sadly as leaned against our bus,

"Easy for you to say you didn't almost slice your arm off."

"Shut up I almost got caught on fire." I grumbled, Looking at a now smiling Kouga. Least he seemed in a better mood.

"True, Least I got fixed up. I will have a sweet scar now. Imagine the tales I can no regal people with."

Rolling my eyes I pushed him into the bus, Miroku and a chuckling Inu followed suit. Sighing I braced myself. Walking in myself I sat in the driver seat. I always hated driving the all nighters. If we had that extra bit in out contract would have nice to just hired a damn driver. Blowing out a breath I stopped stalling and started the mammoth. Turning the key nothing happened, trying the key again ended in thew same result.

I guess bad luck was just going to follow us like a black cloud tonight.

"Bus isn't starting." Slamming my hands on the wheel I stood up heading towards the exit.

Catching Kagome right before she was hoping onto her bus. "Our bus won't start."

"What? What happened?"

"If I was a mechanic I wouldn't be standing here in front of you."

"Don't snap at me." Hands on her hips she squared off ready to fight.

Taking a deep breath, I tried again. "Sorry," through gritted teeth." I'm just stressed."

Letting it go a concerned look covered her face. Glancing at her watch she cursed again. "I'll call a mechanic, I doubt they'd be able to get here tonight." Turning without another word I watched as she vanished into her bus.

Knowing she was taking care of that bit I waited outside till she came back with word of what was going on. This night couldn't get better.

"What's going on?"

Looking over I saw all three of the guys heads sticking out he window, curiously wanting to know what was going on. Grumbling I pegged them with stares. "I don't know. Kagomes calling a mechanic. Were going to be late."

At the mention of her name Kagome made reappearance, face looking grim. "Good and bad news fellas. Which first?"

"Bad." I felt my temper rising. Wasn't her fault, but tonight had just been a shit storm.

"I got a mechanic, but he wont be here till tomorrow morning."

I leaned my head against the bus, counting to ten before I said anything. Calmer I looked at her. "What about our show?"

"We will get there when we get there. if were late were late. We just got to get you guys fixed."

"We?"

"Yea were staying put with you guys."

"There's no need for you girls to get stranded with us."

Shrugging Kagome smiled. "No big deal. Thought you guys would enjoy the company. I'll come check you guys later tonight."

"Kikyou must have enjoyed that bit of news."Snorting I smiled, I kind of liked the fact she would be miserable. She had been a real pain lately for no reason.

Laughing Kagome walked away, shaking her head not another word being mention.

Walking back to my own bus I cursed under my breath. "What do we do the rest of the night?"

Walking up along side me Miroku wiggled a dark glass bottle in front of my face. "We drown our sorrows my friend. We get so shit faced we wake up tomorrow wondering why areas that shouldn't hurt, hurt."

I stared at the bottle, then looking at the rest of the guys who simple shrugged. I wasn't one to drink, but with all that had happened I felt i needed one. Smiling I nodded."Tonight we get shit faced."


	9. Never have I ever

**Warning: Adult situations in this chapter...because...just because**

* * *

**"Loosing control."**

**Chapter 9: Never have I ever.**

Watching from my bed I chuckled as the band played a game of drunk jenga. Hearing Sesshomaru get angry every time Miroku or Kouga went for a bottom tile made it well worth sticking around the bus. I'd have left an hour again if I didn't fear Sesshomaru would burn the bus down in retaliation.

"Inu-Yasha I could really use you, ya know!"

"Sorry Sesshomaru, it's more fun watching you have a near break down."

"I am not near a break down over a stupid game!" He angrily snapped at me, but instantly his attention was right back to the other two , "God damn it Miroku, really a end tile?! Are you trying to destroy the damn thing!" Losing any concentration with me Sesshomaru went right back to yelling at the boys.

"At first no. Seeing how competitive you are I decided to just go for it."

"It is more fun watching you nearly pop a blood vessel." Kouga must have pulled a equally stupid stunt. With one swift movement Sesshomaru punched the tower, jenga pieces flying everywhere. So much for the entertainment.

"There! I win assholes!" He was fuming, eyes wide with anger. it was almost scary.

Clutching his sides from laughter ,Miroku clearly didn't seem a bit afraid. Continuing to egg on Sesshomaru." Actually you made it fall you lose."

"Whose stupid idea was it to play this game?"

"You."

"I would never suggest playing a game like this with you two cheaters!"

"Oh Sessy shut it and take a drink. You're worse then a mother hen."

I swear to god.." Hoping over discarded tiles ,Sesshomaru had seem to finally snap. Letting his anger and frustration out on Miroku's neck, his hands tightened around his throat. Kouga instantly stopped laughing at seeing his friend being strangled, jumped up trying with all his might to ply Sesshomaru's hands away from Miroku's throat with no prevail.

Miroku scratched helplessly at the hand tightening around his throat, sighing I started to get up to stop things from getting anymore out of hand. Last thing we needed was a death on out hands.

"Guess we came at a wrong time huh?"

Everyone paused looking towards the door. We had all forgotten the girls said they would make an appearance. An this was most likely not the idea scenario to walk into. Sesshomarus hands were still wrapped around Miroku, who was turning an unhealthy shade of purple.

"Uh, Sesshomaru?" I pointed toward Miroku, dropping his hands, Miroku fell from Sesshomaru's hands. Gasping for air He narrowed his eyes. We were going to be in for a night of hell.

Smiling Kagome made her way over to me. She had recently showered, her hair was damp and the shirt she wore had water spots here and there. Images flooded my mind. I'd have killed to have been there I could imagine Kagome naked, soap running down her back, over the curve of her ass.I'd have gripped that ass, throw her against the wall and have my way with her hot soapy self. Shaking my head I snapped out of it. I needed to be more careful. Daydreaming like that was something I couldn't afford. We did not need a drunk me turned on.

"Welcome back?" Sitting up I scooted over making room so she could sit, Shaking her head Kagome took the offered seat next to me. I laughed nervously. Every time I was near this girl I felt like a teenager again. Nervous, never knowing what to say, and hoping I didn't make myself look foolish. Might be why I was an ass sometimes. i just didn't know how to process my feelings. One day i'd get a hang of it.

I watched as Sango sauntered near Miroku helping him up and making sure he was alright. The smile on his face made me refrain from bitching at him later. He had just been choked out, and he loved any attention from a living breathing female. Especially that of Sango. Not to mention the way me and Kagome had been interacting I really couldn't afford to be a hypocrite.

"So besides getting so drunk and trying to kill each other what have you guys been doing?" Kikyou Stepped farther into the room looking around in distaste. Clearly she disapproved of our living situation. She floated down next to Sesshomaru who was to busy keeping a paranoid eye on Miroku. Miroku sat oblivious, to busy purring, and lapping up the attention from Sango.

"Well we were playing janga..."

Narrowing his eyes, Sesshomaru glanced at Kouga. "Which will never happen again."

Hand up in a peaceful salute, "Didn't say we were."

"Damn right we aren't...I should burn the damn thing..."

"We could always play `_Never have I ever_."

Everyone turned quietly to look at Kikyou, had she just suggested playing a game? A _drinking_ game?

"What?" She looked a bit intimidated,She was one to never really hang out with us. She kept it strictly business. No matter how much we had tried loosening her up she still seemed too serious. It got to the point Kouga and Miroku did things just to get a rise out of her. Hence blow up dolls the other day.

"As in a drinking game?" With a puzzled look Sesshomaru spoke up.

"What else? You guy aren't that drunk. I've see you drunk." Looking around the room, her eyes landed on Miroku's bed. Crawling over, she reached under his bed retrieving the bottle that had been sticking out. " Jack will have to do I guess."

"Hey I was saving that!"

"Oh hush." Making her way back to her spot she smiled in triumph.

"You feeling ok kikyou?" Pressing his massive hand against her forehead, Sesshomaru clicked his tongue, "No fever."

Scowling Kikyou crossed her arms. "I'm really not as stuffy as you make me Sesshomaru."

"Could have fooled me." Miroku gave her a sly smile, throwing a near by pillow at him Kikyou seemed satisfied.

"Well you pansy's wanna go?" Sango grinned and looked at Kikyou, trying to make her feel more at ease. "Girls vs. Boys."

"Oooo how sexist!"

"You are just afraid to get beat Kouga." I laughed as Kagome got in the middle of it. Looking at the boys I nodded.

"You know they are going to cheat right? Christ sakes its easy to get Miroku drunk...He's done everything!" Without missing a beat or having to look over Miroku flicked Sesshomaru off.

"We're play till whoever passes out. Last person standing wins for their team." Kikyou fluttered her eyelashes. She had something up her sleeve. Odds would not be looking in our favor.

I knew I was going to end up regretting this tomorrow, but with all the crazy that had been going on it was due time we relaxed. Plus seeing Kikyou let her hair down and drink would be well worth it.

"Don't let me down boys." We joined the rest of them on the floor, forming a circle. "You start it Kikyou."

"Never have I..." Tapping a finger on her lip, her thoughtful expression turned to a dark one. "Streaked."

Cursing under his breath Miroku yanked the bottle from Kikyou's smiling grip. "I see where you're going..I shouldn't even play Ill be blacked out in ten minutes..." Gulping down his shot he looked around the group. "No one else?"

Shyly Sango stole the bottle from him pouring her own shot. Looking at Miroku's face she scoffed. "I was a crazy teenager..."

"I take it back, more of those Kikyou I'm learning about Sango. And I appreciate all I'm learning."

Rolling her eyes, Kikyou nodded at Miroku. "Your go."

"Never have I ever, gotten carpet burn." Everyone but Sango took shots this round. Tsking under his breath at Sango. "Sweatheart you arn't doing it right."

"Oh please Miroku, I never had a complaint."

"Oh really? one day you will have to show me first hand, how they don't complain." Rolling erh eyes Sango couldn't keep the smile off her face.

"I'm more surprised Kikyou took a shot." I earned myself a nasty look from Kikyou.

"I'm not a prude Inu-Yasha, anyways your go...ass."

I rubbed my neck. I had to play this right. I had to do something to get the girls, Miroku was most likely screwed no matter what I said. Like they said earlier. he's done everything. "Never have I ever had sex with an in animated object."

All three girls blushed and took their shots, The true shocker was Kouga. Giving him the eye he didn't make eye contact with any of us. "I was a crazy teenager?..."

"Hey no taking my excuses!"

We all burst into laughter. "I was sure as hell Miroku had that one."

"Hey, I'm not as brave as this guy." Gently pushing Kouga, who seem to bounce back an shrug it off. Turning his attention back to Sango he smiled. "Waiting."

"Never have I ever been bitten by a fish, in the water while having sex."

"I told you that in confidence!"

"There is no confidence in a game of war."

Grumbling Miroku took his shot, so far he was three shots in. On top of the alcohol he had, had earlier we might be loosing Miroku soon if the girls kept ganging on him. He had to at least try to take one of them out, and the score so far was against Sango and Kagome.

Glancing as Sesshomaru ,he seemed to have come to the same conclusion. He smiled and made direct eye contact with look on their faces meant he was going to hit home with something personal. Hope he had a good one. " Never have I ever been approached by a man whore."

Her eyes narrowed as she took a drink.

"I...take great offense to that!"

"Hush Miroku and take one for the team."

"Oh it's personal now buddy."

Laughing I felt myself relax. This game had see a better idea then I figured it to be. Let's just hope we won.

* * *

An hour into the game the last two standing were me and Inu-Yasha. Funny how that was, Everyone else was worried about taking each other out they had completely ignored the two of us. I felt a slight buzz from the many shots I had. I was feeling good.

We sat in silence watching our friends sleep, Sango and Miroku had manage to stumble to his bed where they laid now snuggled close. It was cute, and if I had remembered to bring my phone I'd have amazing black mail. The rest remained strewed across the buss floor, Kikyou was curled up in Sesshomaru's lap, while Sesshomaru used Kouga as a human pillow.

They were all deeply asleep. Turning to Inu-Yasha I tried to the best of my ability whisper, it came out as loud whisper. "Lets head to my bus so we don't wake the sleeping beauty's."

Nodding he followed close behind as we ran as fast as we could to avoid the cold air of the night. Making it into the bus I shivered slightly, trying to adjust to the climate change. Inu-Yasha snickered an came closer wrapping his arms around me. "You poor thing you."

I sighed and leaned in enjoying as his body enveloped mine. He smelled of sweat and musk, and a underlining hint of whatever body spray he used. he smelled amazing. Biting my lip , "All it took to get you to touch me was to get you drunk huh?"

Laughing he pulled away a bit. His eyes were shiny, his break smelling of wasn't drunk, but he was just as buzzed as I was. "Oh you have no idea the restraint it takes for me not to be all over you."

That caught me off guard. Was he saying he wanted me? Because he could have me , anywhere any time. "Oh yea?" smiling I ran my tongue over my lips, trying my best at the seductress look. Hope it didn't fail.

Catching himself he started to stammer. "I er..what I mean was.."

Cutting him off with , I pulled his shirt forcing him to stoop to reach wasn't getting it out of it that easy. Ive been thinking about doing this for weeks. To hell with his stupid rules.

I forcefully kissed him, almost bruising his lips. Shock stopped him at first, then slowly he relaxed melting into the kiss. I found my hands roaming over his body, trying to feel and touch all of him. My body wanted more.

Picking me around the waist, his hands found my thighs to support me up while he stumbled around the buss with me in his clutches. Pulling away form the kiss long enough to talk,"Room?"

Looking at his face I realized what he was suggesting. lust filled my veins, I felt things lower tighten with excitement. I was finally getting what I wanted. Pointing to the door all the way in the back I clung to him tightly as he raced towards the room.

We usually took turns using the big room since the bed was roomier then the cubby like bunk beds, but seeming as me and Inu both wouldn't fit in my bunk, someone was going to have to suck it up if they came back to em being in here.

I kissed him widely as he sat me down, wasting no time he was pulling at my cloths. My shirt, and pants were flung on the floor, leaving me bare in just my panties and bra. Leaning back I slowly spread my legs. Groaning he started Shrugging his own clothes off till he stood there completely naked.

"You sure you wanna do this?"

"Yes, now no more talking." I stood moving to the side I had enough room to throw him on the bed. He looked up shocked as well as turned on at the same time. Clearly he liked a women taking control. Good because tonight I was in control. Tossing my bra with the rest of his clothes, my panties soon found their way next to them.

Now completely nude I made a show of crawling along side him. Leaning down I laid a gentle peck on his lips, not wanting him to distract me I pulled away out of his reach.

He scowled at me an went to make a move, wagging my finger at him I roughly pressed against his chest forcing him back down on the bed. "You watch, I do the work."

Swinging a leg over I straddled his chest. His eyes grew slightly larger as he watched hungrily. He fought the urge to touch me, I could tell he badly wanted to run his hands over one hand I reached behind me gently stroking his growing member, a moan escaped him at that one small touch.

I smiled pleased,with my free hand I ran it down my neck, slowly past my breast, down my stomach, till I reached my core. His eyes darted right to my slit as he watched me rub in small circles. I whimpered at that small contact continuing my lazy circles I felt my fluids flow more freely, slowly dripping onto Inu-Yasha.

"Kagome." He bucked his hips, loosing my balance his body found itself grinding into my sweet spot. Through with teasing either of us I lifted my hips positing his hard member at my slick entrance, plunging myself on him I cried out as I felt him fill me.

Slowly I moved my hips in circles, Inu-Yasha's hands flew up gripping onto my waist, his eyes were rolled back as I moved up and down taking him in and out fo my body. I heard the slick sound as he left my body, slamming my self back down I shuddered.

I continued to pull up and down, my pace picking up. I felt my arms turn to jelly, using his chest to support me I continued to move.

"Kagome...I'm close." Without warning I was being flipped onto my back. Taking my legs Inu-Yasha threw them over his shoulder. The position aloud him to go even deeper. I gripped the sheets in tight fist. i felt as If I was going to shatter into a million pieces. This felt to good. He moved faster and faster,

I found a scream tearing from my throat, The orgasm hit me hard and long, I lay there twitching as I felt myself growing wetter and wetter,Inu-Yasha shuddered over me once more and I knew he had come with me.

Panting heavily he gently placed my legs down, as he slide out of me to lay on his back. Catching his break he turned laughing at me. "That was amazing."

Laughing I rolled over into his waiting arms. Hugging me close I whispered into his chest. "Never have I ever..."


	10. Anywhere but here

**"Loosing control."**

**Chapter 10: Anywhere but here.**

"Miroku?...wake up."

I felt gentle hands shake me,and a evenly gentle voice try to wake me from my sleep. If I didn't hurt I'd have reveled in the fact there was a women in my bed. Since I wasn't in the mood, I groaned rolling away. My body knew it was to early, so why was I being nagged?

"Miroku if you don't move in five minute's I will flip you off this bed."

Sango? Why was she in my bed? This had to be a dream. Cracking an eye open I got a eye full of Sango laying next to me in my bed. It was still to early, and I was to cranky to hit on her.

"Go away she devil."

"I did warn you." Her sing song voice flooded over me. If I didn't hurt i'd have laughed.

Yelping , I felt hands grasp me and push. Landing on the floor I groggily opened my eyes. Sango leaned over eyeing me with cool humored eyes. Sango was really in my bed. A smile found it's way to my face, Sango has spent the night with me last night. Hope I didn't do anything stupid.

Moaning I laid my head on the floor looking up at her. "That was rude."

"So was not waking up."

"I'm hung over." Puckering my lower lip, I tried to get the sympathy vote.

Rolling her eyes she was clearly immune to the cuteness. "Oh well big boy. Time to get dress, were running."

I moaned again pulling my blanket closer, my head was pounding. She wanted to run? All I wanted to do was sleep. The hell did I do last night? I remember the janga, and Sesshomaru strangling, then the girls...the girls. That was right we played never have I ever. An I was the first out. Wasn't hard, so no bully for them.

"Can we just snuggle and sleep?"

"You're cute, but I'm not missing my run."

"Aren't you hung over?!"

A smug smile appeared on her face. "I'm not a light weight like you. Plus aspirin before drinking. Always prevents hang more stalling let's go." her voice was firm and strict. I'd have enjoyed it more if she wasn't demanding me to exercise. She was worse then a trainer.

Mustering all the strength I had, I hopped back in the bed, Wrapping my arms around Sango's waist I pulled her closer. She stiffened at first, then relaxed. The feel of her hips pressed against my stomach was a feeling I could get use to. Waking up next to her was the most amazing feeling even. Even hung over I appreciated it.

She sat still as I wrapped myself around her body, with one hand she cautiously started stroking my hair, laughing as I purred her other hand came down for a smack on my ass.

"oooowch." I whimpered pathetically. God she wasn't going to let up was she?

"You can stay." My face light up,I could stay and have a Sango to snuggle? Catching my face she frowned, "I'm still going running."

I knew I had to suck it up. I had no one to blame but myself for being this trashed. Sighing I let Sango go. I wan't going to lose any time with her. Looked like I was running. Maybe I could sweat all the booze from my system.

I sadly pulled away from Sango's body, already missing her warmth. I began to rummage under my bed till I pulled out a fresh pair of shorts. Waving them in her face she laughed. "I'm ready mistress."

Shaking her head she stood, "Time for me to get dressed. Meet you outside in 5"" As I nodded she head out, but not before throwing me a smile over her shoulder.

I yawned, Looking over I saw a pile of sleeping people. Keeping the laugh in I studied them. They all looked so comfortable in their little puppy pile. I saw Kouga, Sesshomaru, and Kikyou. A sting of jealously rippled through me. Bastards got to sleep in. Looking around I surprisingly noticed Kagome and Inu-Yasha were the only one's missing.

Assuming they had gotten up early an were off doing something, I stood. My body groaned in protest. It didn't want to wake up anymore then I did. Forcing my feet to move, I shuffled as quiet as I could out of the bus.

Shielding my eyes from the sun I found myself letting out another sound of regret. I should just crawl back into the bus and catch a rain check.

"Oh you actually made it."

I turned to look at Sango as she came walking up, I was glad I made it as well. She sauntered over, all she wore were a pale blue workout set, shorts that were so short I was sure I could see ass, and the usual sports bra. Yes I was glad I had crawled out of hell for this.

As she began to stretch I felt my mouth water. Watching her bend all the way down I hungrily devoured the way her ass looked in her shorts. She made sure to stay down longer then usual. Standing up she winked playfully before stretching her legs. I stared mouth dry, as she balanced her leg outstretched on the side of the bus. Her eyes remained on me the whole time.

Finishing her legs she turned and started heading behind her bus. Oh she knew what she was doing. I pulled my shirt off and over my head, I could play just as mean. I knew she loved watching my chest while we jogged. if I wasn't afraid of getting arrested, i'd have gone naked. Smirking I jogged to catch up to her.

* * *

It took us a good fifteen minutes just to reach the trail. All stretched and ready to go I set the pace, Knowing Miroku was still hung over I didn't want to be mean and make him keel over. I watched as he kept up. He had chosen to go shirtless, I guess a little pay back for my stretching show back there. I had troubles keeping my eyes off that well muscled chest. You could crack walnuts on those damn abs of his.

"If you keep staring you're bound to hit something or trip." He panted heavily, but managed to crack a smile through the effort.

Narrowing my eyes I started to speed up. I might not of had a good come back, but I knew how to get him back.

Panting an heaving he caught up. Eyes wide he looked at me shocked.

"Trying to kill me?"

"Done being a smart ass?"

"Ok...you win...slow it down "Laughing I slowed the pace back down.

looking over he was sweating profusely, he looked horrible. I felt bad. I had forgotten he was totally hung over still. He didn't even wanna come do this, he just agreed so he would be near me. I wasn't stupid. i knew that was his reasons.

Stopping completely I let him catch his breath. Hunched with his hands on his knees he breathed in and out quickly. "Thanks."

Looking around I spotted a bench, pulling his heavy weighted body up we limped out way over to sit, throwing him my water bottle I watched as he chugged it down. "You didn't have to come you know."

His eyes glanced at me as he shook his head. " I told you...I enjoy any chance I get."

"Well you shouldn't kill yourself in the process."

"I'm fine. Just still a little drunk."

Laughing I gently patted his leg. I'd cut him some slack. Plus we had other chances to run. "Today's your lucky day, no running. We can just relax till you catch your breath, then head back."

"I live to drum another day."

I chuckled. "Least for three more shows."

I watched as he stiffened. He realized how many tour dates we had left. Why did that seem to make him sad?

"I forgot were almost done the first half. We have a month break before we finish the last leg of the tour." His sounded small and sad. His eyes looked out, not really seeing anything just staring.

Not knowing how to make that look go away, I just asked."Why do you sound so sad about that? Usually bands love a break."

"Not when you have nothing to really go back to."

This wasn't a first hearing this. Miroku told me all about his family. he was literally all alone, he had no one but his band. He lost his parents in a car accident, an as a kid he went to live with a distant relative, who treated him poorly. The only good to come from that was meeting Inu-Yasha. Miroku practically live with Inu-Yasha growing up. Inu-Yasha was his family. I had assumed he'd be with him. Not wanting to be to nosy I let it go.

"I wish there was something I could do."

Sighing ,I watched as he slumped down on the bench. Scooting closer he hung his head on my shoulder. Smiling at his cuteness I let his head remain on me. Plus the view here was nice. I watched as his naked chest rose up and down. I watched as sweat beaded and ran down in slow lines. Shifting a little I adverted my eyes. Man did something to me.

"Sango?"

Looking down I saw his face was turned up watching me. Did he catch me staring again? "Hm?"

"What plans do you have once the tours over?"

"Besides a planned dinner with you?" Watching his face light up made me smile. "Nothing. I might just go home for a few weeks. Still have the last half of the tour to do after our break. Not like were really done. " I hoped that last bit cheered him up. He wouldn't be along for too long.

I was in the same boat as him. I didn't have a family, I had a brother, but he was away at school and I rarely got to see him. I spend my time off alone a lot.

He nodded. I watched as he licked his lips, eyes coming back to look at me he whispered gently. "Would you come with me to my beach house?"

I didn't move afraid any sudden movement will come across to him in a bad way. He just asked me to spend a month with him. I didn't know how to process that. I liked Miroku, I liked him a lot. Being with him a full month seemed exciting. I was just scared. I didn't know what to expect for a full month. Did he have weird habits? Did he do things a certain way? What if me being there disrupted everything and he resented me for it?

What if he saw my every flaw and decided I wasn't someone he really wanted to be around. I don't think I could do that, I invested enough emotions so far, if they got crushed I don't know what I'd do.

"It's fine Sango you don't have to." Taking my silence as a no, he stood up. Stretching his back he smiled. "Lets head back."

Standing I followed as we walked at a normal pace. My arms were crossed over my chest as I held my head down thinking. I wasn't able to tell him yes. I was afraid, I also felt like crap. I knew my not saying anything was hurting him. He really cared.

I didn't want him thinking I wasn't invested in all this. I had to suck my pride. I would do anything to make him happy. I pulled his arm so he faced me. I tried to think of what to say.

"You ok?" He looked down at me concerned, I must have let it show on my face. Running a hand through his hair he smiled that never reached his eyes. "Sango...it';s really ok.."

"No it's not."

"What?"

I bite my lip. How do I even go about this? "It's not that I don't want to Miroku. I'm just.."

"Just what? Sango talk to me." Nervously he laughed. His eyes were full of fear. What did he think I was going to say?

"I'm scared...I'm afraid your see me in a different view. I'm afraid a month alone and you will decide that I'm not what you expected and decide you can do better."

He stared at me. A genuine smile grew, " Sango. Just hush. You have no idea how much I am into you. I've been wanting you for a long ass time. Just trust me. Whatever little flaws you have are going to be fine. ok?"

"What if I told you I chewed my nails?"

"So what? I don't care, I clip my toes on the bathroom sink. Going to judge me?."

"Ok what if I told you I drink milk out of the carton?"

"I can tell you a million ways, on how I can get your germs." He held is arms out as if telling me to go on.

"I leave my clothes on the floor, I hate doing dishes, making the bed? Forget about it. I eat weird things that smell like feet, I like to run around in just my undies, I don't know how to cook, I like the way books smell, and I am afraid of bugs." It felt good to get that out.

Miroku shook his head. "Really?"

I nodded. "You need to know."

Taking a deep breath I watched as he came closer, bending down so we were eye level he still wore that smile. I wanted to wipe it off his face. Was he mocking me? I literally felt like I was going to fall to pieces. "I have a maid for the clothes, dishes are a fun activity for me, bed? pft we don't need to make it the messier the better, weird foods are the best, undies? really? Like you even needed to state that, I can cook I'm quit good at it, and I will smash any bug that comes near you."

"I have an obsession with cats."

"Oh no! Cat obsession! That's a deal breaker!"

I found myself laughing at his sarcasm, hitting him on the arm I shook my head. "You make me sound silly."

"Well. If you think those things will make me run, you are. Sango I meant it...I like you. I wanna do this."

Finding myself nodding, I agreed. I wanted to make this work. Whatever this was. "Fine."

"Fine?"

"Three more shows an then we hit the beach."

Eyes wide I was caught off by surprised when my feet left the ground. Miroku crushed me to his body and swung me around. Catching his break he crushed me to his chest once again. "Thank you."

Putting me down I melted at the excitement etched on his face. Taking his hand we didn't speak, we just walked back to the bus.

* * *

With her hand clasped in mine I felt like nothing could go wrong. She had agreed after these last few shows to go home with me. I should have her sign a contract so she couldn't bail on was just no explaining how I felt, my heart and soul were light.

Reaching the girl's bus the door flew open, Inu-Yasha and Kagome both walked out with one another. Kagome looked sad, at the sigh of us she turned red, turning she high tailed it back to the bus. Inu-Yasha just turned his head, refusing to make eye contact with any of us.

Hm. Weird, whats up with them. Looking at Sango for help she simple shrugged her shoulders. Well least I wasn't the only one lost.

"Hey guys. Just got a call mechanics on his way." Inu-Yasha took the last steps down the stairs. Spotting me and Sango's hands his brow raised. Looking at me he shook his head. Lovely, I could just feel he judgment radiating form him.

Not letting him even begin to ruin my day I continued walking. "Awesome we might actually make the next show."

Reaching out Inu-Yasha stopped me. "Wait up."

Great, I could only assume what this is going to be about. Turning to Sango I nodded at the bus. "I'll meet ya in a second." A worried look on her face she nodded and got out of dodge. Now it was just me and Inu-Yasha. I wasn't in the mood for this. Not today."Don't Inu-Yasha it's not..."

"We talked about this."

"Oh?"

"Yea. We all agreed not to get involved."

"More like you said and we had no choice." I felt myself growng angry. Who was he to decide anything? Me and Sango were adults. We could decide out lives for ourselves. I didn't need baby sitting.

"I'm doing whats good for the band, we've made enough messes." I watched Inu-Yasha's face. Something wasn't right. He wouldn't make eye contact with me. Narrowing my eyes I looked him in the face. "Whats wrong?"

"Nothing, why?" Still not meeting my eyes I knew he was hiding from me.

"We have been friends how long? Don't bullshit me."

He was silent, after a few seconds he looked up. "I fucked up. I know I made a mistake. This is why I'm trying to prevent you from the same."

The hell was he going on about? Then it hit me. His "Pleasure and business" crap, being gone this morning, walking out of Kagome's bus all guilty. This hypocritical prick. "You son of a bitch.."

"Whoa come on its not that bad..."

"Not that bad? You preach to us not to do what you did? You have the gall to tell em I can't freaking try with Sango? I'm not even sleeping with her! Are you even trying to be more then friends with Kagome?"

He remained silent. I found my self getting angrier. He was seriously doing this? "Really? wow, nice Inu-Yasha."

"You don't know what the fuck is going on."

"And you do? You don't know shit about me and Sango."

"No but I know you."

I stared at him. "What the fuck does that mean?"

"Come on Miroku you know." He looked at me, face turning to amusement. "Really? You the one who sleeps with everyone? Trying a relationship? How long before you cheat on her?"

I felt my face fall. I can't believe he went there. I felt a piece inside me shatter. This man had been a brother to me. Did he really think so low of me? Shaking my head i backed up. "Thanks. nice to know what you really think about your best friend." I turned my back and walked towards Sango's bus.

Inu-Yasha's voice rang behind me. "Miroku...wait man I didn't.."

I stopped jabbing a finger in his direction. "Just shut it. You are not my father, don't you dare step into something you know nothing about. Leave it Inu."

"You have to think about this. You know I'm right. Don't do this, and fuck up and ruin everything we built! I won't let you."

Turning him out I hopped on the bus. . I didn't need this crap today. My heart had once been filled with joy, was now poisoned with hatred. How could a friend think so low of you.

I spotted Sango. She sat holding Kagome's hand in a corner, Looking up with concern she came to me "Miroku...whats?"

I cut her off, crushing her to my chest I felt tears sting my eyes. I wanted my friends, I wanted Sango. Why did I feel I wasn't going to have both. Holding onto Sango I fought back the tears and looked at her. "Mind if I catch a ride with you guys to the next show?"

Eyes darting to Kagome, Sango gently patted me. "Sure Miroku that's fine. What happened?"

Harshly laughing i sat down. " Probably my last show with Among the lost."

...

...

The repair guy had come an gone, I had remained in the bus. I didn't want to run across Inu-Yasha again. I just needed some time to cool off and be away from him. Kikyou was the last to appear on the bus, She looked horrible. Holding her hand up to silence any thing smart from my mouth, she made her way to the back of the bus.

"I am still drunk Miroku. I will shove a shoe down your throat."

I laughed as I watched her drag herself to her bed. Minutes later the girl's driver had appeared. I guess we were heading out. I sat at the table on their bus looking out the window. Sango sat next to me head rested on my shoulder.

She had remained quiet the whole time I was here. She knew I wasn't in the best of moods. I told her everything that had gone down. She had been just as angry as me. She was ready to ump off the bus and confront Inu-Yasha. I had convinced her to stay with me. It hadn't been easy. She was ready to tear him a new one for the way he treated Kagome and me. There was no point. I wanted things to calm down. Once we got to the next show I'd talk to him.

Looking over I saw Kagome sulking int he corner. I wasn't mad at her, I was sad for her. By the look on her face things had gone sour after her night with Inu-Yasha. Standing I walked over to her, sitting near her feet I laid a hand on her knee.

"How you holding up?"

Snorting she looked down at me, tears were forming in her eyes. "Peachy."

Nodding I laid my heads on her lap. "It's ok Kagome, you can take your anger out on my head."

Laughing she pushed me off, i was happy to see her laugh at least. Her eyes grew somber again."Thanks."

"If you don't mind me asking." Sitting up I looked her in the eyes. "What happened?"

Blowing out air she ran her hands through her hair. "He told me nothing would become of last night. Last night was just a one time thing. He said he was drunk and if he had been sober it wouldn't have happened."

Grabbing her hand I held it tight, giving her a reassuring smile I wanted to make her feel better. She meant a lot to Sango, and Sango had been a bit sad with the way Kagome was feeling. "Give him time. He's a dumb ass. I'm sure he will realize he made a mistake."

"I don't think it matters."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want him to realize he made a mistake.."She continued when I looked at her confused. " I don't want to have to convince someone I'm worth their time. They way he handled things...Anyways thank you Miroku. Don't worry about me I'll be ok."

Getting up I smiled sadly at her again, I felt bad for her. She was strong though if anyone could get over that crap it would be her.

walking away I stopped again as Kagome called my name. I turned , beckoning me close she whispered lower. "Please don't hurt her. ."

I looked into her eyes and still saw hurt. I'd throw myself in front of a bus before I even saw that look in Sango's eyes. i'd be sure to hurt Inu for this later. Nodding Taking her hand I kissed it. "Don't worry. I won't."

Rejoining Sango I placed her head back on my shoulder, continuing to stare back out the window. Shit was hitting the fan fast. One minute the band was good, and now? Now I don't know what the fuck was going on. I hoped after these alst few shows, and the break things could go back to mornal. If it didn't i don't know what I'd do. This band was everything. What does a drummer do when his band goes to shit?


	11. Everything falls apart

**an: ****Sooo I realized...I've skipped two Kouga chapters u.u I feel bad, lol so next chapter a nice long, Kouga! er, yea.**

* * *

**"Loosing Control."**

**Chapter 11: Everything falls apart.**

We got the bus working within a hour of the mechanic coming, an then we were on the road. Everyone was here, all minus Miroku. Miroku was living it up in peace on the girl's bus. i would kill to be in the same situation. After Inu-Yasha and Miroku's fight Inu had stormed onto the bus , and began the trip to the next city. He had remained silent while driving, well till I decided to get involved.

I did the best I could to remain standing in the front of the bus, it seemed Inu-Yasha was taking his anger out on me an purposely hitting every pot hole, and bump he could manages. Being the stubborn man that I was, his attempts to knocking me to the back were not working. Ha.

"You are being a massive ass."

"Sesshomaru..not right now."

"Yes, now Inu-Yasha. This is more serious then you are making it out to be."

He took a second to turn from the road to stare daggers at me. Turning his focus back to the road, I watched as he calmed himself enough to talk without the tone. "No it really isn't. Me and Miroku fought,but he just needs some time alone."

"Inu-Yasha, you can't tell a guy not to be interested in a girl-"

Cutting me off with his hand I saw the anger rising in him once more. "We agreed, we ALL agreed. Not to get involved with any of the girls."

I stared at him blankly. "Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that just came from your mouth?"

"What?!" His anger was starting to get the best of him. I guess guilt does that to a guy.

Leaning close enough so he could see my face out of the corner of his eye, I leveled him with a stare. "You slept with Kagome. Last time I checked she was in the very same band as Sango. SLEPT with her Inu. The worse thing Miroku did was hold her damn hand."

"How do you know? He could be lying. He is infamous for sleeping with anything that walks."

I did all I could not to punch Inu-Yasha in the throat. That was a lot of will power, but I managed. "Look who's talking."

"I made a mistake.."

"So take it out on your best friend? Our drummer?"

"You just don't-"

"Understand?" Finishing for him, I looked down at his face. I could see what all this was doing to him. The hurt was everywhere. Good.

Pissed didn't cover how I felt at this moment in time. Looking at Inu-Yasha I knew what I was doing was a lost cause. he was as stubborn as a mule. I just had to let him figure it out. And god did I hope he figured it out.

I gently shook my head at him. It was just best to leave him alone, not before some parting advice of course. "Bottom line Inu-Yasha. You don't know what happened. You are all about ethics, but you were the one to fuck Kagome. Stop taking your guilt on your best-friend. if we lose Miroku because of this. i will make it personal."

I didn't wait to hear any more excuses from him. I was done at this point. I just hope I got through somehow. If this ruined the band I don't know what I would do, but strangling Inu-Yasha would be right on the top.

Needing to forget this situation I knew there was only one cure. Making my way over to my bed I found her laying on top. I smiled, I gingerly caressed her from top to bottom. "Did you miss me?"

Mimicking a high pitched feminine voice, " _Oh Sesshomaru, it was so lonely on this bed. Never leave me again!_"

"Don't worry Ivory, I got you now."

"_Just touch me already._"

"Don't worry baby I got you." I was enjoying myself to much, but everyone had to find fun somehow. Mine just happened to be talking to my bass.

"Reeeeeal creepy you talk to that thing let alone make it talk."

Looking over my shoulder I did all I could not to snap. I still had memory's of him hiding her under his bed. Picking my bass up, and perching myself on the edge of my bed I stared at Kouga. Scowling, "Shut it."

"Hear me now. when you start peeling faces off of people. I called it."

"Everyone's entitled to a stupid, but you are abusing the privilege."I looked up at his laughter, I had to take a double take, seeing what was in his hands confused me. "What's that?"

"I SAID,WHEN YOU START PEELIN-" Assuming I meant I didn't hear him, the smart ass started to talk in a louder volume.

"I don't know what makes you stupid, but it really works," Thrusting my hand forward I waved at the guitar in his hands, " That. What are you doing?"

"Clearly I'm practicing."A look of embarrassment crossed his face, bending his head back down ,Kouga began to play one of our songs.

I looked on as he strummed along, he sounded perfect, never missing a beat or a note. This man never practiced a day and he sounded amazing. I knew for a fact on our breaks he never touched his guitar. I lived with him, I would only time he practiced was for a new song, and it was like playing it once he absorbed it in and had it encrusted in his mind. He was like a musical prodigy ,so why now?

Shock still must have shown on my face once hi finished. Giving me a scathing look he barked, " What?"

"Oh nothing. Just think the world is ending. You just continue 'practicing'."

"Sesshomaru, say whatever you want to say." I heard the tiredness in his voice. Something was eating at our little Kouga. Being the man of tactlessness that i was I smiled pleasantly and asked.

"Since when do you fucking practice?"

Looking at me with a questionable look , he shrugged his shoulders."Why not?"

Giving him a look of equal value, " Because Kouga, you never practice. You don't need to."

I looked on as he sighed heavily, placing his guitar beside him he intertwined his fingers together. Resting his head on his hands I heard his muffled voice. " With Miroku leaving-"

"Who the fuck said Miroku was leaving?"

He lifted his head, his eyes darted to the front of the bus then back to me."Did you hear any of what happened?"

"Meant nothing." I dragged my bass to my lap, ignoring the stare that bore through me I played the same song Kouga had just finished.

I heard Kouga clear his throat, choosing to ignore it I continued playing. The clearing grew in intensity, till the point it was painfully obvious he was dying for my attention. Rolling my eyes I stopped to level Kouga with a stare. "What?"

"You know as well as I do, what happened was serious."

"Kouga give it a rest. Things are cool, they both just need to mellow out." Turning my eyes back to my bass I went back to play her.

"What if it's not."

He just didn't stop. "It is."

"But what if-"

"What if Miroku decides to start cross dressing and join Siren's theory?" Having enough of it I growled in frustration. "We just aren't going there Kouga. Got me? We can't think like that. We think that then it happens. Got it?"

"I got it."

"Good, Now shut up and play, or just shut up."

Laughing Kouga started to play, Matching his rhythm we played a solid few songs before we just completely stop. Kouga went to sleep a bit and I sat here staring off into nothing.

Sitting in silence, It sat at the back of my mind. What would we do if Miroku decided he had enough? Yea it would be easy to find a new drummer, but you couldn't find a new Miroku. There would be a void in our band that not just anyone could fill.

I didn't tell Kouga all this, he didn't need to be more worried about a possible future. We all had to remain hopeful this crap blew over. I know I would make damn sure things blew over. If I had to beat sense into Inu-Yasha I would. He wouldn't be single handily destroying this band any time soon.

Time to buck up and get over yourself.

...

...

I felt more the saw the bus pull up and stop. Looking out the window all I saw was the back of a building.

"Were here, you guys good back there."

I looked up to see Inu-Yasha standing. It took us a while, but we had made it to our next venue. The sun was long gone, the darkness of night loomed over the bus. Glancing out the window I saw the line of people beginning to wrap its way around the building, only meant the show would be starting shortly. It was going to be a packed one tonight.

I studied the fans as the bounced and chattered in excitement. If they only knew half the crap that went down. Peering down at a still sleeping Kouga I lightly nudge him with he tip of my shoe. "Wise and shine princess."

"Five more minutes." Rolling over He did his best to ignore me.

Chuckling I bent down, "Either his royalness wakes up now, Or I will pick you up and throw you into the pit of fans out there, naked. They may not be to kind to you."

"Damn it Sesshomaru I'm up!"

I watched as he groggily got up, picking his guitar up I watched with amusement as he stumbled his way off the bus. Swear I was like this god damn bands father sometimes. Picking my own instrument up I followed suit.

Almost colliding with a little body I cursed, I watched as Kagome stumbled back. Fear crossed her face, slowly looking up and realizing it was me she relaxed a bit. "Sorry Sesshomaru, in a hurry." Moving to past me she would have made it, if I wasn't faster. I grabbed a hold of her arm turning her to face me. This would be my only shot to talk to her, and I needed to know what the hell was oping on around here.

"Kagome. With whats going on-"

"Please Sesshomaru not right now." Looking down into her pleading eyes I felt something break inside me. Nodding I let her go.

"Kagome. Wait." Anger boiled over in me as I watched the last man she needed to be around called out , and began walking towards us. She had almost made it free. I saw her flinch and edge towards the door, ignoring Inu-Yasha.

"KAGOME!" Her back stiffened as he yelled at her. I saw the thought of running run through her mind. her eyes kept darting to the door, but she stayed put. Hearing foot steps behind me I knew Inu-Yasha was here, Kagomes chance to escape had passed her. Not being able to tell what was going on with him I watched as he just stared at a defeated Kagome."Did you hear me call you?"

"Yes." her voice was soft, if I didn't know better I could swear I heard a muffled sob.

"Why didn't you stop then?"

"Because I'm not your fucking dog. I'm here now. What do you want?" Studying her face I lost my cool. Tears traced her cheeks. No matter how strong she tried acting she was still at the point of breaking.

Shit. Moving forward I went to put a stop to this. Oh Inu was getting it. The look on that girls face. She had been crushed, he hurt her so damn bad. Douche bag wanted to get on Miroku's ass, and look what mess he made.

"Enough Inu-Yasha, fuck!" Turning I was unable to stop the full force of what was going to happen. Miroku stormed towards us. "Go inside Kagome, I got this."

Not waiting for Inu to turn back to her, she scurried into the building. As the door closed I turned my attention back to Miroku and Inu-Yasha. Double shit.

"Can't you just mind your own business Miroku."

"You are my business. Can't you cut her some fucking slack?"

"You butt your way into it before I could even talk to her."

"You don't need to talk to her."

"Who are you? Her mother?"

I watched as they slowly began to snowball, Doing this out here in public was not the best of things. People were stopping and staring. if they kepy this screaming match up they would attract fans. Even better.

"Guys why don't we just chill-" I walked forward, only to have Inu-Yasha push me.

"Stay out of it Sesshomaru."

Grinding my teeth I stepped back. Hands held up in surrender. If they wanted to be stupid, fine by me. They were on their own now. I would watch till they fucked each other up.

"I swear to god. How does anyone put up with you." Miroku turned to walk away, Inu-Yasha continued his assault.

"That's right, walk away. poor little Miroku is having issues so he runs."

Yelling over his shoulder Miroku didn't bother to stop. "Whatever you say Inu-Yasha."

"Whatever you say Inu-Yasha." Mocking Miroku, Inu-Yasha stood there fuming, not knowing what to say.

"What's your problem?" Miroku stopped as he reached the door, turning he gave Inu a questionable look. He was willing to let it all go. Not Inu-Yasha though. man was a to head.

"You are."

"If you have a problem with me, write it down on paper, fold it, and shove it up your ass Inu-Yasha."

"Just walk away Miroku, Like the little bitch you are."

Cursing under my breath I watched as Miroku stopped, turning he made a bee line back to Inu. Fist clenched, "I've had enough of your mouth."

Reaching us in a few seconds Miroku had grabbed a hold of inu-Yasha's shirt, pulling him closer to him, with one balled fist he began to punch Inu in the face. One punch struck Inu-s lip splitting it, blood rushed down his chin. Two more blows landed into Inu-Yasha's eye socket. A loud crunch alerted to anyone around that someone had something broken.

Three punches in before Inu-Yasha had gained a hold of his Miroku's arm, pushing him back Miroku lost his balance. Stumbling Inu took that to his advantage. Running towards him Inu planted a kick in Miroku's chest

"Miroku!" Sango came rushing out and over towards the the kick to the chest had set her into drive. Holding my arm out I stopped her and simply shook my head.

"Let it go."

"But Sess-"

"I got it if it gets out of hand. Trust me Sango."

Not liking it she kept silent as she fearfully looked on at the brutal beating before us. I didn't like it anymore, but these two needed to get it out of their system.

Gasping for air Miroku fell to the ground. Arms tightly pressed to his chest he looked up as his former best friend loomed over him. ,Inu again took advantage. Straddling his waist Inu took a hold Of Miroku's shit and began his own flurry of face punches. Blood poured from both their faces, yet it didn't stop them. Miroku laid on the ground, struggling, weakly punching into Inu-Yasha's exposed chest. The blows didn't stop Inu from continuing assaulting Miroku's face.

"Sesshomaru." Sango's voice held a note of panic. She was getting just as worried as I was. They were reaching a breaking point. If this didn't stop someone was bound to call the police.

Winching at every blow, I heard bone on bone. If this continued they would break something, even if they hated one another now they both would hate to disappoint the fans. I growled and ran towards them. Yanking Inu back I held him at a distance.

Picking Miroku up He went to lung, Weakened from the fight they could only manage a struggle against me. "ENOUGH!" Voice booming they both ceased struggling. Breathing heavily they stood, bloody and in pain glaring at one another.

I was beyond the point of anger, I wanted to bash their damn skulls together. I looked between the two, fuming. " Really?! This is what shit has come to?"

"He started-"

"Fuck you, you had to put your nose where it didn't be-"

"I DON'T GIVE A FLYING RATS ASS WHO STARTED WHAT!" Keeping a hold of them both I watch as people scurried to get away from the scene. Focusing back at the two at hand I felt my anger reach a new peak. "Two more shows. After tonight we have two more shows. After that a break. Which you clearly need."

"He'll be lucky if I come back."

"Drummer's aren't hard to come by Asshole."

"Good problem solved-"

"Shut...The...fuck... both of you need to just shut it and listen." I let go of them, turning my back to Miroku I thrust my finger in Inu-Yasha's face. " You need to get over yourself. Get the fuck off Miroku's balls. You slept with Kagome. You broke her heart. Only person you should hate is yourself."

I turned to point a finger at Miroku. he wasn't getting off any easier. " You."

"What I was defending Kag-"

Giving him a look he shut his mouth. " I appreciate it. But Kagome is an adult an can handle her own battles. You need to stop acting like a little girl. I get it Inu is a dick. he fucked up. I would be just as pissed, but throwing away YEARS of a friendship is stupid. You know you weren't in the wrong."

Stepping back I ran my hand through my hair. " I'm not your mother. You guys are adults. If you want to destroy each other fine. Just remember me and Kouga are inside ready to do out fucking jobs."

Turning my back I walked away. i no longer had the patients for these jack asses. if they wanted to tear each other apart fine by me. I no longer would be here to watch them both self destruct. They wanted to destroy all we worked for fine.

...

...

* * *

This might have been the first time in my life where being on stage I felt awkward. I glanced over at Kouga across the stage, he looked just as lost ass I did. Usually during shows Inu-Yasha would interact with the crowd, hell he and Miroku usually played it up together. Since they weren't talking I could understand that bit. But the fans? Not tonight, He had remained in one place, singing a song after another. No breaks, no saying hi to the fans. Just singing.

His face was now blood free, but it was clear he had been involved in something serious. Bruises were appearing around his eyes, his lip was busted open. A clear split down the middle. His knuckled held tightly to the mic in his hands, they were busted and scrapped open.

"S-s-ssorry guys. I know we seem to be-e-ee lack luster tonight." Speaking for the first time I stood there, spine going ridged. I figured out where he was while I waited inside the green room with Kouga. My anger came back with a full vengeance. This was going to end badly. His works were slurred A drunken smile on his lips. Turning he winked at me, "I don't know if you can tell,but I was in a bit of a fight this evening."

The crowed jeered, boos and heckling ensued. "I bet you kicked his ass!" Someone from the crowd screamed over the rest, earning him a cheer of his own.

Inu-Yasha laughed harshly. He turned, acknowledging Miroku for the first time tonight. I watch as the same amount of anger broke on his face. "Why dooon't we ask our lovely drumm-mer here, huh?"

Miroku looked just as bad as Inu had. his eyes were black, and blood still clung to his shirt, in drying patches. Ignoring Inu-Yasha I held my breath as he tried to calm himself. The sticks in his hand trembled.

"Aww I think wittle Miroku is mad at me guys." Heckling Miroku into talking , I took a step forward. if this continued it would only end in another fight on stage." Look! It's Sessy!"

Cringing at the nick name I covered the mic with one hand, I hissed darkly into his ear. "What are you doing?"

"My job, duh?" Wobberling he had a hard time maintain focus. Laying a hand on my shoulder he smiled, breathing into my face I turned my nose up at the booze stench. "It's ok Sessy .I wont upset you little Miroku."

Dismissing me with a pat He sauntered away to continue talking to the crowd. Kouga made anther attempt at my attention. Shacking my head I went back to my place. There was no hope for any of this. Please let this end. And let it wend fast.

...

...

* * *

I ended up having to drag his ass out halfway through the show. That was a first and last. once this drunken idiot woke up I was letting him have it. I was tired, so damn tired of this crap. inu-Yasha was usually a great performer. What the fuck was going on with him? What made him decide this was a good idea? Throwing him on his bed I walked out, I watched as Miroku limped slowly to the girls bus.

Taking a deep breath I went to catch up with him. I had time till sleeping beauty woke up, I needed to clear things with Miroku.

Seeing me approach he held his hands up in defense" Listen i kept my cool. i wanted to deck him again but I didn't."

"No I know. Thanks by the way."

"No problem." Limping the rest of the way to the bus, Miroku sighed in content as he rested his body against the bus. it was clear he was hurting. Looking up he narrowed his eyes. "You're here for a reason. Whats up?"

"Just wanted to see if you're good."

"And?"

"Can't I just check on you.?"

"No."

Well he was right. I did wanna see how he was doing, but I did have other motives. "Are you really leaving us?"

Puzzlement crossed his face, then he realized what I was going on about. Moaning he banged his head against the bus, Closing his eyes he responded in a dull tone. "Sesshomaru I don't know. Why are you asking me this now?"

"Just answer the question."

"Yea, No. Shit." Standing on his own two feet, he slowly made his way to the girl's bus door. Looking at me I could tell he was truly confused. He didn't know what he wanted anymore then the rest of us. Staying silent for a few, he finally blew a breath out."If he can pull his head out of his ass,let me run my own life, and gravel. Sure I'll stay."

"Listen, two more shows. Then were all on a break. We need it. I'm going to talk to his drunk ass and let him know a few things. Just don't leave us. Kouga and I are still here. And we need you."

Nodding, the conversation ended. i watched his back as she slinked into the bus.

Looking over at our bus I knew I was in for a fun time myself. Walking the short distance I hopped up the stairs to the sound of something puking their guts up. Good serves his dumb ass. Emerging over the stairs I stared at Inu-Yasha's hunched form. His face was buried in a bucket. I watched as his back hunched every time he threw up. Smiling I waited patiently till his pail face looked up.

Looking up he moaned, I couldn't tell if it was me or the pounding headache he had to have. All I know was that look make me giggle with glee on the inside."Please Sesshomaru, I'm drunk. And dying."

Sitting next to his weak form I patted him hard on the back. His face dove back into the bucket for another onslaught. "We need to talk."

Eyes breaching over the bucket he tried pleading with his eyes. "Sesshomaru later-"

"I would much rather chuck puppies into a wood chipper then talk to you right now. Shut the fuck up and just listen."

Not protesting anymore I took that as a sign. "Now. We have an issue. Tonight? Will never happen again-"

"I'm sorry I kno-"

"Shut...Up." Glaring at him he shut up for the second time. Knowing he wouldn't interrupt anymore I continued. "I don't know, nor do I care whats going on with you. Here's the solution though. Two more shows, you two get along. You will act like best friends. And then we have a month break. That month break you will be using it wisely. You will be saying sorry to Miroku, and you will be getting it together. Am I clear?"

"Yes.." A low growl emitted from him. Cutting my eyes to him I stopped his little tantrum from bubbling any further.

"Inu-Yasha I mean it. Fix it. And do it right." I couldn't stand to be near him any longer. I was ashamed to even be his brother at this point. he was falling and bringing the rest with him. I was putting a stop to that crap tonight. Walking away I made it to the stairs before shouting over my shoulder. "If you can't do this Inu-Yasha. I'm cutting you out of my life. If we loose Miroku, I'm cutting you out. I hope you make the right choices."

I continued to walk. I didn't need to have a response, I knew it would sink in. I hope it did. I meant every word I had said. I was willing to cut the strings to this shit show.


	12. Smile through the pain

**An: Finally some Kouga! Also, lyrics in this story? Mine, lol so don't expect a master piece. I don't do poetry or music.**

"**Losing Control."**

**Chapter 12: Smile through the pain.**

A flicker of strobe like lights shot off, an array of multicolor bounced off the walls and into the cheering crowd. Pulsing colors and then blackness, colors, then blackness. The crowd screamed in anticipation, you could barely make out the outline of our bodies every time the lights flickered. That just seem to make the fans lose it even more.

Their strangled cries grew louder, more urgent. Their voices carry far and wide, the stadium we were in seem to make their cries multiply. Ignoring the roar as best as I could I stood at ease, guitar limp in my hands. Looking to my left I made out two people who I knew only had to be Sesshomaru and InuYasha.

InuYasha stood center stage, leather clad legs apart, head bend his hands were wrapped around the mic that sat nestled in its stand. His hair slide like a veil covering his face partially, I couldn't see his face to gauge his emotions, I could only guess he was still waging a battle in himself with what all had gone down. Before walking onto stage I caught a quick glimpse of his face. He hadn't looked too good for wear. I figured the beating he had taken as well as still being hungover from the night before, was taking a toll on him. Horrible of me to think but I didn't even feel that bad for him.

His face was healing at least, His lip no longer split but it was red and scabbed from where it had split. The bruising around his eye was evolving into the green yellow that bruises did. I could see through the flickering his chest rising and falling. I couldn't decide if it was the show or the incidents in our lives that were making him on edge. I'd say the later.

The roar of the crowd growing louder with anxious thumbed inside my skull. I watched as they jumped and cheered, some waved signs with declarations of love for us. Hands reached out from the first row, begging for us to just finish those few inches and touch them.

Sesshomaru did just that. Carefully as if afraid to damage it he swung his bass behind his back, keeping it out of his way as he stooped. Bending his long frame he squatted, bearing his weight on his knees. Hand outstretched he gently caressed the palm of a girl who couldn't be any older then thirteen. Eyes wide the girl looked up into Sesshomaru's face, her mouth opened and closed in state of shock. Crying out she pulled back clutching her hand to her small chest, tears of joy glistening in her eyes.

Sesshomaru stood back up, face its usual blank mask he went back to his post on the stage. Catching me looking he narrowed his eyes as if daring me to be a smart ass. Smiling I decided to save it for later.

I looked behind my shoulder towards the jungle of drums, Miroku sat above them twirling his sticks in his hands absentmindedly. His knees bobbed up and down, legs restless ready to pound on the drums to get his energy and frustration out. Blue eyes darted anywhere but to the center stage. He and InuYasha had been avoiding one another like the plague since last night. Didn't blame the guy, the bus ride with our singer had been strained and downright uncomfortable.

The lights stopped their flickering dance, the colorful strobes cease to exist. Plunged into darkness, the crowed hushed a confused murmur beginning to go around the masses. A grin grew on my face. This was my favorite part.

Three massive booms shot off. The pyro cannons going off sending fire into the air, dying shortly as they reached a certain height. The confusion that had settles over everyone quickly went away as soon as they realized the meaning behind the fire display.

I smiled as I looked over as Sesshomaru, who wore the same dopey expression as me, turned his eyes to me. We did the same thing every show, and it still seem to amaze the fans every time we did it. Arms out stretched InuYasha threw his head back, a deep laugh emerging from his throat echoing into the mic. Behind me Miroku pounded on his bass drum, beating on a few other drums to check how they sounded, and the crash of cymbals let me know we were ready.

Cheers erupted, soon after a chanting grew, "Among the Lost! Among the Lost! Among the Lost!"

Replacing the once flashing lights a brighter yellow spot light shone on the stage, showing us all in out glory. If I thought their roars were loud before, the cries they shouted now made me stumble back. Their genuine excitement made all this worth it.

Looking out at the sea of people, the fans who loved us almost made me forget the shit storm I was living. On stage we looked normal, we looked like were were all friends and nothing were wrong. Underneath though, underneath we were barely holding on by a thread.

"Hello Nagoya!" InuYasha's voice boomed loud, more screams roared to life. I had to advert my eyes as I watched a women climb onto of a man's shoulders just to expose her breast. This crowd was alive and ready for us.

"I don't even have to mention who we are do I?"

"No!" The crowd screamed back, earning themselves a slight bow from InuYasha.

"Didn't think so. You guys ready to blow this place to the ground?"

"YES!"

"Good." Grinning slyly at the fans, his eyes flicked to Sesshomaru and then me, our queue to play the first song in out line up.

Sesshomaru's heavy bass line filled the air, he strummed a low humming tune, fast and hard I watched as his fingers moved like lightening.

Hitting his peak of his solo I slammed my hand down and started turning out my own part. One hand running along the neck of my guitar the other hammering hard on the strings. The familiar whiney of my guitar flowed alongside the hum of Sesshomaru's base. The thumbing of Miroku's bass drum, and crashing of cymbals was InuYasha's queue.

InuYasha's stage persona flared to life, leaving behind the nervous edge he always seem to carry before a show. Now the man at the mic oozed confidence, and sex appeal. Leg propped on an amp InuYasha yanked the mic from the stand, cupping his hands over the top he belted out a long gurgled scream.

The crowd ate it up, hands in the air I watched as their first shook, as they jumped around amping themselves up for Inu to start singing.

From screaming, InuYasha's voice mellowed, turning into an actual singing voice. He belted out the lyrics in a slow rhythm. While his voice remained slow and sad the rest of us remained playing heavy and loud.

"_Who do you see? _

_Staring back at me?_

_Do you regret the things you see?"_

Head swinging back and forth I strummed the strings of my guitar harder, moving from my spot I strutted over to Sesshomaru. Turning to face me we played while InuYasha sung, bass and guitar facing off one another. As if a challenge, Sesshomaru picked the pace up. Not letting him get the better of me I kept up with him.

With a knowing smile I knew I just issued a contest.

"_I once held a spot in that black hole,_

_Now all that's left is your bitter regret._

_I tried to be what you needed me to be."_

I and Sesshomaru waged a war, trying to outlast one another. We remained eye contact as our fingers flew away on our instruments. Our notes coming out faster and faster. I felt the increasing speed, sweat breaking out on my forehead I felt like my fingers were about to fly off my hands.

Sesshomaru saw my panicked expression, he knew I was goings to lose this one. I watched as the smile grew on his face, His eyes sparkled with glee, and that's when I knew I fucked up. Fingers stumbling over notes I shook my head.

Mouthing the words "You win….for now." I ran back to my side, getting my playing under control once more I risked glancing over at our bassist. The smile still remained on his face while he gloated about his victory and my lose.

"_You can't understand why I am the way I am._

_It's because of you._

_I am the man that I am."_

I checked behind me to see Miroku. His attention was focused elsewhere, in his own world. His arms swinging beating every beat he could out of his drum set. His hair clinging to his sweaty face, I watched his eyes glancing back and forth between his set to behind the stage.

Glancing in that direction I smiled. Sango sat on a box, all smiles as she watched Miroku playing.

Turning my attention back to the crowd I felt a lift in my chest, even if we were all separate right now our love for the music was our last thread that held us together. I hope we could maintain that grip, and repair the massive hole in our lives.

"_Who do you see?_

_Is it still me?_

_Do you remember me?"_

Looking at each guy in the band, my friends. I hope and prayed we fixed things. I don't know what I'd do without them.

"_I wish you remembered me…"_

…

…

By the time the show ended I was drenched and exhausted. Sweat clung to places I never thought it would reach. I had to drag myself off stag. All the jumping around was catching up with me. I was getting to old for this shit. Luckily for me the show had gone off without any incident. Considering how the past two shows we had went pretty fucking badly, and how we all were towards one another, wouldn't take much for one to be good. InuYasha wasn't drunk, and our instruments didn't try to kill us. So a good night.

Climbing down the stairs in silence we all headed towards our shared room. The crew had offered to find separate rooms, Sesshomaru wasn't having that. He politely had told them to fuck off, along with Miroku and InuYasha if they had issues.

The silence that hovered around us was nerve wracking. We usually goofed, and joked with one another. Having grown accustom to that, the silence felt like something foreign and weird. This silence, was serious. It was like someone had died and we were in mourning. An accurate description seeming as the band felt like it did just that. Died.

I was the first to step in, slinging my guitar strap over my shoulder I rested it against the wall leaving it there for a roadie to pick it up.

Grabbing a bottle water, I propped myself against the wall, I wanted a good view of the room just for all intent in purposes. Really it was more to see if anything happened. And I was sure something would happen. Watching as the rest of the guys file into the room I made eye contact with Sesshomaru. His eyes let me know he felt the same as me.

Sesshomaru followed my lead, grabbing a bottle of water and standing next to me. We knew what we were really looking out for. And here they came.

Stepping up to the door at the same time, Miroku and InuYasha had a small Collison. Looking at one another with unfriendly eyes both paused, waiting for the other to make the first move. Without vocally communicating they just stood there waiting.

Sucking his teeth in frustration, I watched as InuYasha's face contorted into a false smile. Gritting his teeth he flashed that smile towards Miroku. Hand held out towards the door, "Be my guest, go first."

Returning the same smile Miroku extended his own hand, mocking the exact smile. "No, you go."

"I Insist Miroku."

I watched as Miroku's face strained harder to remain looking pleasant. "No. You."

"Just fucking go through the door." Snapping InuYasha dropped the friendly act. Should have figured it wouldn't last long.

"Why do you have to be such a stubborn ass?"

"Will you two act like big people?" Both men turned their fiery looks towards Sesshomaru.

Sesshomaru raised his brows at the two, as if daring them to say something. Knowing when to let go Miroku and InuYasha slunk into the room, hatred in their eyes they made sure to stay on the opposite side of the room from one another.

I fought to not snicker at Sesshomaru's angry burst. Looking up I saw that neither Miroku nor InuYasha found his comment to be hilarious. The stood sulking in their corners not making eye contact with anymore.

Looking at Sesshomaru for answers, all he did was simple shrugged his shoulders.

Draining his bottle he took on more final look at the men in the room. Making his way towards the door he spoke over his shoulder, "You two inspire the inner serial killer in me." Having said what he needed to he continued to walk out the room, leaving behind a stunned Miroku and InuYasha.

"That guy has some nerve." Miroku crossed his arms, Sesshomaru no longer being in the room anymore gave them the confidence to talk back.

"Try living with him."

"Rather not, Kouga has to poor guy."

I stood there listening as they continued to belittle our one friend who was right. Sesshomaru spoke the truth every time, these two idiots were just feeling guilty.

"Least you two are talking."

They paused, looking at one another their eyes landed back to me. "Doesn't really mean were friends."

Scoffing Miroku glared at the back of InuYasha's head," Ditto buddy."

"Miroku do you need another lesson? I can happily supply you." Cracking his knuckled InuYasha turned a smirk on his lips, giving Miroku a look as if he were ready to jump up and throw a punch.

"What langrage are you speaking? Because it sounds like bullshit." Smiling sweetly Miroku stood his ground.

"Nice one Miroku. Why don't you go slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma."

Feeling my good mood slip away I glowered at them. They had a lot of nerve to talk about Sesshomaru. These two were far from being allowed to throw stones. Right now was a damn fine example of that. These two never ceased to amaze me. Standing away from the wall I flowed Sesshomaru's lead, heading right to the door to get out of here before I blew what lasting patience I had. "You two are un-fucking-believable."

"Excuse me?" Two sets of startled eyes stared at me, they had forgotten all about me.

Spinning around I let it all go, I let all the emotions that had been running through me out. I let all the sadness, anger, betrayal I had been holding onto finally out. "You heard me. You two, the most fucked up two of this fucked up parade of fuckery have no room to talk about anyone. Sesshomaru tells you how it is, you just can't take the truth."

"Kouga we didn't mean it like-"Miroku started to make his way to me, holding my hand out he stopped a look of disbelief on his face.

"No, you two are single handedly destroying what we worked so hard for. You fight over something so stupid, and you're both so fucking stubborn you can't just forgive one another. Get over it! InuYasha-"

"What? I'm not wrong in this. I still stick by everything I-"His eyes narrowed as he turned in my direction.

Not caring I was going to let this go. They needed to know. "Get over it. Stop being an ass say sorry to your best friend. Miroku, grow up. We have been friends how long? LET IT GO! I'm tired, Sesshomaru is tired. Everyone is tired. If you guys don't hash it out, you're regret it."

Nodding I felt myself relax. I had let lose all I could hope for were these two idiots to fix the issues they created. I don't care what happened, I just wanted to get back to the way we were. Turning my back to them, I left. I left and didn't look back.

…

…

"I can say nice things about them, or I could tell the truth." Sesshomaru laid sprawled out on his bed, his bass laid next to him. I had stormed back to the bus still fuming. Sesshomaru had been playing his bass, the sight of an angry me made him stop. Forcing the truth out of my stubborn ass I spilled about the happenings. Everything from Miroku and InuYasha smarting off, to me defending Sesshomaru and losing my cool.

So here we sat talking about what had just gone down. For the past twenty minutes. I was loving it. I loved any little time alone I got with Sesshomaru. I knew I shouldn't be here with him, it made things for me all the more complicated. I just couldn't stop myself. Sue me.

Laughing I shook my head, "I give up on them. Hell if this falls apart let's just make a two man band."

"After what I told InuYasha, he better fix it."

"What did you tell him?"

Sighing heavily, I studied Sesshomaru as his face changed from happy to serious. The happy mood disappeared instantly, things got tense and serious. My skin prickled with goosebumps, I was both worried and nervous.

Rubbing his huge hands over his face he spoke. "I told him he didn't fix whatever this is, I'm done."

"Done?" Heart racing I hope he didn't mean what I though he did.

"As in, done with the band, done with him."

Everything stopped, staring at his face I knew he meant what he said. I didn't think it would get to this point. I always thought Sesshomaru would fix it. Leaving in in InuYasha's hands made me fear for the worse.

Yea I still lived with Sesshomaru not like I wouldn't see him, there would just be a void in all our lives. This band was everything.

"Name it Sessy and the Koko experience."

"Huh?"

"Our solo band. Name it Sessy and the Koko experience." Nudging me slightly I realized what Sesshomaru was doing. He had saw the sacred look in my eyes, and wanting to make it better he tried to get my focus elsewhere.

Smiling I tried to do what he was guiding me to. Licking my lips I looked up, a smile coming to the surface, "Janga crusaders."

"Two men, one blow up doll."

"Hey! Get off my planet!"

We fell on the floor, holding our sides at our unfunny names we laughed. Sesshomaru's attempt to lighten things had worked.

"We will make millions off that." Sesshomaru's eyes sparkled, he enjoyed the moment as much as I had. We both were overdue for a laugh.

"Least in out rightful minds we will." Another immature fit of giggles broke from us, if someone had stumbled upon us they would have thought we were drunk or high.

Wiping the tears from my eyes I laid on the floor looking over at Sesshomaru, eyes staring back at me I felt the warmth blaze in my face. Just staring into those light irises of his made me nervous. This thing with me was slowly breaking me. How could I continue to be near him with my growing affection, and never able to tell him? I feared losing him, but I also feared falling for him.

Getting himself under control first, I felt Sesshomaru gently slap my shoulder. Bringing me out of my haze I blinked rapidly "Let's get out of here for a while."

"An?" Shooting him a questionable look, I watched as his mouth twitched into a smile.

"Fuck let's get drunk."

"Last time we got drunk, I woke up in a puppy pile." I tried to play it off as if I would rather do other things then have that happen again, truth be told I hadn't minded. I had enjoyed waking up with his heads on my lap, face content and peaceful in his sleep. I had to fight the urge to stroke his long silvery hair.

"I won't tell if you don't." digging under his bed he pulled out an unmarked bottle. Grinning he shook it in front of me. "Don't bitch out."

Snatching the bottle I glared testily at him. "Remember, you started this." Unscrewing the cap I took a giant gulp. I hope I don't regret this crap later.

…

…

The bottle laid empty beside us, we laid sprawled out on what little room we had on the floor. I was well and drunk, Sesshomaru seemed to be not phased at first glance. But looking into his blood shot eyes said different.

Shivering I looked around. "So cold."

"Go to bed then."

Looking across the room my bed seemed miles away. Shaking my head, "Nope to far away."

"Oh god you baby."

Scooting closer I laid there stunned as Sesshomaru threw his arm over my body, pulling me closer.

The warmth his body was throwing off made me catch my breath. I fought the urge to press my hands against his chest and deepen that warmth, wrapping it around me. Being drunk with Sesshomaru next to me just as shit faced wasn't a good idea.

Playing it out I laughed nervously. "Dinner before you feel me up Sessy."

"You wish you were my type, feel lucky I'm touching you."

"Think it'd the other way buddy."

Scoffing I felt his finger jab my stomach," I'm the stud muffin."

"Stud muffin? With that vocabulary I'm surprised you can charm the pants off of anything."

"I can show you how I charm em off." My eyes grew wide, mouth going dry I watched as Sesshomaru leaned in closer, his breath blowing across the edge of my ear, he whispered smoothly into my ear, "Except I'm not into dick."

Hurt I had to remind myself not to take it to heart. He was drunk, and he didn't know how I truly felt. "Keep it up and Ill invite some fans on for a puppy pile."

'Think it'll be hard to avoid a puppy party, on this small ass bus. "

Shifting away from Sesshomaru I found myself pressed closer to Sesshomaru'; side Instead. Looking up our faces were closer. Eyes meeting for the first time I tried to hide my excitement. Please penis do not make a rise for affection.

Silence filled the bus as we stared at one another. My heart felt like it would pop from my chest as the seconds ticked by. We didn't move, didn't talk, we just looked at each other.

"You get any closer Kouga you'll be making out with me," His voice soft, a hesitant chuckle came out. He sounded as nervous as I was about this turn of events. What was going on? Did he feel for me as I him? Or had I made him uncomfortable?

Pulling back I darted my eyes down embarrassed, this was becoming more and more awkward. "Sorry drank way to mu-"

Stopping I watched as Sesshomaru closed the distance once more. Falling back, I had to prop myself on my elbows. Crawling closer he stopped Inches from my face. I felt his hot breath blow across my lips. His eyes clouding with uncertainty, I sat there unable to move, not wanting to move away but closer to him.

His hand hesitantly hovered over my face, I was confused and ecstatic at the same time. We didn't speak, we sat there close enough to kiss. I nearly begged for him to touch me. Just once.

"Kouga?" His voice a husky whisper.

Licking my dry lips I whispered, "Yea?"

"I was serious. You're not my type, I'm not into guys."

Breathing in and out I watched him closely. "Then why are you this close?"

"I don't know. "

His face made the last few inches towards mine, his hand flew up to caress my check. I felt his lips hovering over mine, the gentle press of our lips meeting sent shivers down my spine. Not knowing if I should touch him or not I laid there still, afraid any movement would scare him away like a feral cat.

Seconds seem to turn into minutes, minutes into hours. Pulling back we stared at each other in shock. Leaning on his elbows I watched as his face registered what had just happened. "I don-"

"Sesshomaru you on here?"

We both bolted up, sweat beading along my back I watched as Kikyou ran up our steps. Face bright and happy she looked back and forth at our nervous faces. Eyebrows cocked she leveled another puzzled look. Did she figure out what we did? " I miss something?"

"No." Sesshomaru and I looked at another as we shot out a nervous reply.

"Oooook won't ask," Focusing her gaze on Sesshomaru she nodded towards the bus door. "Mind if I talk to you a second?"

"Yea, sure." Standing up he hurried towards the door. Looking back at me, he looked as if he wanted to say something. His face mixed with confusion and need had me going through a tailspin. Thinking better of it he left without another word, Kikyou trailing behind him.

Slamming my head down I groaned as the pain blossomed throughout my skull.

I had kiss Sesshomaru.

I didn't initiate it. He had. Drunk or not, I kissed Sesshomaru. Pinching my arm I cried out once more. Nope not a dream.

Breathing heavily I felt panic rise in me. What the hell did this mean?


	13. Slip away Part 1

"**Losing Control."**

**Chapter 13: Part 1: Slip away.**

_**Four days ago:**__** (Morning after InuYasha and Kagome's sexual encounter.)**_

_If I lived through this day, I swear no more drinking._

_I felt my head pound harder as my mind began to wake up more. The feeling rose in my throat, as if I moved to suddenly I'd hurl everywhere. God being hungover never got better, and you never got used to it did you? _

_Whose Idea had it been to drink anyways? Miroku wasn't it? Well he just been demoted from best-friend to asshole._

_I could feel the heat of the morning burning on my face, I groaned outwardly, I wasn't ready to face the morning. Not yet._

_I squeezed my eyes harder, trying to avoid the glaring gaze of the sun through the tiny window next to my bed. I should really get something to cover that window, and soon. One day I'd like to wake up on my own accord. Groaning I rolled to my other side trying to avoid the fiery heat the sun was throwing off, burning my retinas in the process._

_Snuggling deeper back into comfort of the dark I flung my arm out, meeting the soft tender flesh of another person. _

_Person?_

_Sitting up with panic flooding me I cracked my eyes open. My vision obscured in a blurry mess I tried my best to focus. A few seconds later and a few fierce blinking maneuvers and my eyes were right. Having my vision back I stared down at the figure besides me._

_They were draped with a thin sheet, entire body covered from ear to toe. Their face was unrecognizable, a curtain of dark hair obscured my view of it. I could just move the hair to see who lay beside me, but I didn't want to risk waking up the stranger. _

_The thin sheet that round around the person, clung tight, giving an appearance of someone small, and relatively thin._

_From what I could make out from under the sheet, the body was petite with curves in all the right places that would make any women kill for. Hell I'm sure I appreciated it. SO at least I knew the stranger was female. Or a man. That help soothed my mind, a bit._

_Now who was it? Not being able to see the face without risking waking them I choose to look around for clues._

_My eyes darted around, it took me a second but it hit me. This was NOT my tour bus. Where the hell was I? Cursing, hands running through my hair. Trying the best to remember last night, and figure out where and who I was with._

_Drawing a blank I cursed under my breath once more. This could get pretty bad, pretty fast. Dear god don't let this be a fan, please let this be some random person from a bar. I didn't go to a bar last night, Did I? Hell it was just a comforting thought._

_My eyes went back to the sleeping women. She was at ease, still completely in a deep sleep. I watched as her chest slowly rose and fell as she breathed. She didn't move, she remained still._

_Shifting closer, I felt my own sheet slip down further past my hips, glancing down I realized how naked I was. Only one reason for me to be this nude. Shit. _

_Growling I glared at the sleeping women once more. I needed to find out who this was. And Now._

_Not knowing what came over me I reached my arm out, ready to tear back the sheet revealing who the women was. Yet I found my hand becoming gently as I touched the motionless form. It was like I was afraid to disturb her. I had been determined a minute ago, and now I was hesitant. Why didn't I remember anything?_

_Hands with a mind of their own traced along the small petite body tracing the curvaceous form. From shoulder to waist I found my hands roaming lower. Landing on her hips, fingers grazing further I traced along her ass. Whoever it was, they were stacked nicely. _

_Pulling my hand away from her ass to feel less like I creep I round my way back up her body. I traced the same path I took down, up. Not feeling any lines of clothing lead me to realize whoever this was, was just nude as me. Figured as much. Sleeping with strangers, wasn't that Miroku's job?_

_Focusing past her body, I turned to the veil of hair. Gentle fingers stroked the silky smooth strands between my fingers. I enjoyed the feel of the silky mane through my fingers a bit too much. Remembering I had something more important I focused on the task at hand. _

_Moving the hair away, like parting a curtain I stared down at the pale, beautiful face of a sleeping familiar women._

_Kagome._

_Panic rose in me, my eyes grew wider. Fuck. I slept with Kagome. This put me in a bit of a dilemma. Hope fucking drunk was I last night?_

_Maybe I didn't Maybe we just got naked, and passed out?_

_Highly doubtful._

_Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!_

_Pulling back abruptly, I felt my finger dig into the side of her face. Great, got better._

_Groaning awake, brown eyes turned towards me. Blinking away the blur of sleep, her eyes settled on me a smile on her face had me puzzled. She was happy to see me? Did she remember more than me?_

"_Morning." Her voice still filled with sleep, she lay there all smiles. She looked happy, excited to be in bed with me. She should be shocked like me. This wasn't supposed to happen, I wasn't supposed to be sleeping with the other bands bandmates. Things were going to get weird and awkward fast._

_Yawning I watched as her arms rose above her head, her back arching at the same time stretching. The sheet around her tugging down, exposing two perfect perky breast. The arching of her back only made those two perfect fleshy pillows protrude more._

_My dick twitched under my own sheet, that one arch had me wanting to jump her, spreading her legs and filling her. That image brought out another cock twitch. Biting back a groan and adverting my eyes from the way overly sexy Kagome, I looked anywhere but her. The last thing I needed was to think with my little head. Jesus InuYasha get ahold of yourself. "Uh Morning."_

"_How's the head this morning?" Done with stretching I felt the bed move, looking behind me Kagome had moved closer, I felt her arms round around my waist as her head settled on my shoulder._

"_Which one? "Tensing up I tried to remain calm. I felt my little head rise a bit more, this was no good. This women was going to be my end. The words spilled form my mouth before I thought through them. "I uh, good."_

_Her laugh crawled along my skin, a sweet seductive melody. "Think it's safe to say we drank way to much last night."_

"_You can say that. I don't remember anything. "_

"_You don't remember anything?" Kagome's head lifted from my shoulder, looking me in the eyes the laughter faded away, replaces with concern._

"_No, not really. I was pretty smashed last night." I met those dark brown eyes for the first time. The look she gave me hit me on the inside. Why did she have a big effect on me like this?_

"_Oh..." Like a switch the expression went back to light hearted laughter. Head resting on my shoulder once more I watched with horror as her hands moved south, to my ever growing dick. "I can change that. Let me help you remember." _

_To say I didn't want it would be an understatement. Yet it would be totally wrong to take advantage of the situation. We shouldn't be doing this, hell we shouldn't be here right now naked in bed. Together._

"_Kagome..." Her hands finally meeting their destination, I lost my track of thought. I groaned as her small hand wrapped around the throbbing thing between my legs. I lost myself to the pressure she applied, the warmth of her palm as it slide up and down. If I didn't stop this I'd end up pushing her over and mounting her._

_That idea made the hand-job all the more pleasing. I was getting way into this. I should stop this, why couldn't I stop this?_

"_Hm?" Purring in my ear, her body moved closer, the sheet that clung to her no longer there, only her nude body flushed against mine. Her bare breast pressed deeply into my arm, while her legs spread left her wet womanhood ground into my knee. I felt the heat radiate from her as she practically begged for me to touch her. _

_Shit._

_I had to gain control over this situation and fast. Reluctantly I removed her hand from continuing to stroke my dick anymore. _

"_Hey! I was busy buddy." Looking at me with surprise to tried the best to break the hold I had on her hands. Looking in my eyes she must have seen the seriousness. The laughter faded from her face once more. She instantly stopped trying to break free, and just look at me confused._

_The absence of that warm palm had me sad. I wanted to put her hand back just to have that warmth back. Realizing what the hell I was just thinking made me regain composure instantly. I couldn't have her doing that. Nope, no matter how much I had enjoyed it I needed to nip this crap in the bud._

_No matter how fucking unbelievable hot she was, and no matter how much I wanted to pound the shit out of her till she cried out, I was going to restrain. I was not going to single handedly destroy group moral and fuck our tour up because me and Kagome are awkward around one another._

_Time to get this dealt with._

"_Kagome…Did….did we. You know?"_

_Her confused expression went to realization. Pulling once more she broke form my hold. Leaning back she studied me before speaking. As if realizing what I was thinking, and knowing where I was going with this, she let out a harsh laugh before replying. "Fuck?"_

_I hadn't expected her to sound that harsh, that one word felt like a punch. Licking my lips I nodded vigorously. "Yea? Did we fuck?"_

"_Mmhmm. And it was amazing. "As if not taking me serious the playful smile was back. Her hand trailed along my shoulder, when my expression never changed from that stoned face she dropped it once more. It was that moment when she realized her touches weren't going to lighten the mood. "Wait, you really don't remember do you?"_

"_I wasn't playing. Like I said. Pretty trashed." My voice coming out more of a bark I felt slightly bad, watching her flinch form my harsh tone wasn't what I wanted. I just wanted her to take this serious as I was for a second._

"_Oh." Her eyes turned away, a slight blush crept upon her cheeks. She looked embarrassed for trying to seduce me._

"_Yup." Silence gathered in the small room, as we did everything not to look at one another. I felt the pressure inside me building up. I said it now, or I kept it to myself longer. "Listen…Last night. That will never happen again."_

_Catching her by surprise I watched as the words registered over her face. Getting her emotions in check she looked up, a look of pain crossing her eyes. Instantly I felt like a dick. Had last night given her hopes on something? Fuck. _

_I'd love nothing more than be with her, to have a relationship and try for happiness. Let's get real though. We were both rock stars, we were always on tour, or recording. It wouldn't work. And even if we did try, what happened when we failed? I wasn't willing to try that bull-shit._

_Time to play my cards, and be a dick. Pushing her away would be for her own good._

"_Seriously?"_

_Knowing my next words were going to be hard, I said them anyways. Better her be mad, then have hope. "Dead serious. Last night was a mistake. I won't be making two mistakes in a row."_

"_Wow, Glad to know I was good for one night. Sorry for ruining your moral compass." Her gentle voice turned to bitter heat. _

"_Kagome. Let's cut the melodramatics. You knew how I felt about messing around."_

"_This is my fault?" Kagome pointed a slim finger into her chest, shock in her eyes. Seeing I wasn't kidding turned that look to anger. That heated gaze fully on me. _

_I hated myself a little bit more. I was making myself out to be a douche bag, I was trying to make her angry. Why I was self-sabotaging myself? Who fucking knows? _

"_I was the drunker of the two of us apparently." _

"_I wasn't the one who started this. "She shook her head, an angry laugh coming out like a hiss, "I can't believe you. You are totally serious."_

"_Yea I am. I'm not going to ruin this tour, my band, for a chick I hardly know."_

"_I get in Inu."Holding her hand up I watched as she scooted off the bed, pulling the sheet over her exposed skim I felt a twinge of regret. I was being way hard on her. I just needed her to hate me more than want me._

"_Do you?" I kept pushing. I laughed, giving her a doubtful look. From the look in her eyes I knew what I was doing was working._

"_Yea, "Hands on her hips she looked down on the floor, refusing to meet my eyes any longer._

_I fought the urge to yell her name, just to have her look up. I would have begged and killed just to have one more glance from her. I knew after this, we were done. There would no longer be anymore goofing off, or having fun with Kagome. _

_I was pushing her just like I wanted. Why did it crush something deep inside me?_

"_You have nothing to worry about. This is our little secret. Never again. I'll make sure of it." Her voice was void of emotions, I was sure her face held the same look._

_That ate at me even more. God I was a fucking asshole. _

"_Fuck Kagome!" Jumping from my booming voice I cursed to myself. I didn't mean to yell. I was just letting my own emotions get the best of me at this point. I needed to nip this shit quick before I changed my mind. I was regretting this already._

"_Don't make me feel like an asshole about this."_

"_How should you feel then? You get someone's hopes up only to tell them never again? How is this fair to me?"_

"_That is exactly why I regret this. You're…attached now."_

_Her face finally looked up, hurt and anger displayed. "Fuck you InuYasha. You self-absorbed prick."_

"_Kagome…" I didn't know what to say. There was nothing to say. Why try?_

"_No, "Holding her hand up she began backing away towards the door. I fought myself from moving towards her. "Just stop. I get it. Let's just act like it never happened. K?"_

"_Sure." I didn't want that. I had to though. To keep things right. I had to stop._

"_Now, get dressed. And let's go pretend." _

_We gathered our clothes, the strained silence appearing once more. Fully dressed I turned to open my mouth. What came out I instantly regretted. _

"_I am sorry. I would love nothing more than to be with you."_

_God I sounded like a pussy._

"_Why not try then?" Her voice soft and even, eyes hopeful. She expected me to just cave in. Top try. Make things work. It would never happen though, I made my mind up and I was sticking with it. _

_I chose to be upfront. She deserved that at least._

"_Because what happens when it doesn't work out? We still have a tour to do. I won't do that with a weird tension. Sorry my band matters more to me."_

_I watched as her face fell, losing all hope for something. I watched as I had single handily destroyed a person I cared about the most. Please gods let her recover from this mess fast._

_Nodding gently she reached for the door, opening it she looked at me, a weak smile on her face. I knew how she really felt beneath that mask. I know she was putting on a brave ace to help not only herself but me. She wouldn't let me see how hurt she really was._

_Knowing I was causing her pain crushed me deeper. I wanted to walk over, wrap my arms around her and tell her I was kidding. That we could work through this._

_I couldn't push her anymore or myself. If she pushed any harder id cave. I'd give her all she wanted. All she had to do was ask once more, and I'd fucking do it._

"_Good to know…..thanks…" I watched as Kagome walked out of the room, and my life. I tried to will myself to say something, anything, but the sound of the door shutting behind her let me know I had lost my chance._

_This felt awful. I felt like shit. I had hurt an amazing person. I had to though, even if things looked good on the surface, I knew deep down it wouldn't work. How could it? We were doomed from the beginning. Good things never last with me. Why try now? _

…**.**

…**.**

…**.**

Stretched out on my bed on the empty bus, I laid there silently hating myself.

That day kept playing in my mind over and over again. It was like I couldn't catch a break. It was as if my mind wanted me to remember all the shit I had caused. Not just hurting Kagome, but damn near destroying a lifelong friendship with Miroku.

Rolling to my side I clung to my pillow for comfort. I still saw her face. Every time I close my eyes at night I saw her face. God that haunted me most of all. The look of pain, and rejection that shrouded her.

I never wanted her to be sad, I thought she would get over it a few days' time. I hadn't really known till I told her never again, that maybe she had felt about me the same I had for her. I honestly had devastated her.

"Fuck me." I yelled, banging my fist into the side of the bus. I felt my anger rise as the thoughts swirled around inside my skull. This shit was eating me alive.

Hovering my throbbing fist in front of my face I watched as the skin on my knuckles cracked, lovely that's going to start bleeding.

Good one InuYasha.

Closing my eyes I tried to the best of my ability to clear my mind. Forget everything and just relax. The moment my lids were shut, and blackness descended upon me one image come out of a foggy smoke. I made out the wavy hair, big round eyes, pouty kissable lips. Like a siren Kagome's face plagued me once more.

Sighing I knew when to admit defeat, there was just no forgetting about her. I honestly didn't even want to. All I wanted was to make things right between us. My temper always seem to get in the way.

I had tried more than once to talk to her since then. She was either protected by Miroku, and he only seem to make me angrier. Or she just ran from me. Either from fear, or just not wanting to hurt anymore who fucking knew.

I was a class "A" fuck up at this point. Everyone was pissed with me, fuck I didn't blame them at this point. If I were them I'd hate my face as well.

Ironic, I had wanted to stay away from an amazing person to prevent exactly what I was doing. I used Kagome as cannon fodder, telling myself if I dove into a life with her I'd destroy my band and create an awkward tension.

That did happen, but not because I was with her. I ended up unraveling us because I had done the opposite of that. I was at fault for this rift, and I was such a stubborn asshole that my pride refused to allow me to fix this. Everything should have been fine days ago.

This was our last show, then we all took a month break. Maybe, Miroku might not even come back because of me.

Life was a bitch.

The only thing I had left to do now was make everything right with everyone. Easier said than done.

Sitting up I breathed a deep breath, holding it in for a few seconds I let it out. Running my hands through my hair I shook my head.

Time to man up, time to fix this fucking mess.

Looking at my watch I knew I had about an hour to hunt everyone down and speak my peace.

Standing and stretching I mentally prepared myself. I had to pucker these lips of mine up for a major ass kissing. Kouga, and Sesshomaru wouldn't be as hard. It was Miroku I was worried about. He had all rights to tell me to go fuck myself again. I had been the biggest douche bag to him.

Here's to hoping I can fix this friendship, hell fix this band.

…

…

…

I had been running around the parking lot for what seemed like hours. In all reality it had been ten minutes. I ran behind every car, and every bus looking for one of these assholes. They were damn sure making themselves scarce.

Thanks for the help ya assholes.

Rounding the corner to the bar we were all parked at I spotted the first two man I needed to gravel too.

Leaning against the brick wall of the building, Kouga stood glancing at the phone in his hands. The earbuds connected to the device, feeding into his ears let me know he was listening to something.

Sesshomaru stood in front of him, talking in a low whisper. From the wild hand movement he was making, that low whisper was a heated one. Kouga nodded ever so often, looking up on his own and throwing some heated glances at the taller man.

Hopefully I wasn't walking into something to serious. Only hand enough time for one drama, thank you very much.

Letting out a breath I walked towards where they lurked in the shadows. I was ready for this. I had prepared myself for the worse while searching for these guys. It was Kouga, how bad could it be?

I watched as two of my bandmates were completely oblivious to their surroundings. Their frantic whispering and hot looks were all that they were focused on. They hadn't even noticed my approaching. I coughed a few slivers of the conversation, puzzling me even deeper.

"Never again! "

"I get it Sesshomaru…It was a accident."

"It damn well better have been."

"I wasn't the one to-"

"Uhh bad timing?" Two sets of eyes turned burning looks towards me. I backed up a step, clearly I walked into something I shouldn't of have.

I took the moment to watch them closely. Their eyes flicked back and forth between one another. As if reading one another's mind, eyes wide with what could only be concern. Not caring to ply into another person personal life I held my hands up in surrender.

"Yea bad timing I'll just come back..."

"No." Both speaking at once, they looked at one another. Kouga was the first to turn back, a look of doubt on his face.

The hell was going on?

"Sorry, everything's cool. Right Sesshomaru?"

Grumbling a response Sesshomaru pulled away from Kouga, eyes still serious. "Sure."

"See all well." A fake smile on his face he nodded his chin in my direction. "Need something?"

I looked back and forth between the pair. This Jekyll and Hyde thing was creepy. I looked at my brother, who stood silent, eyes boring into me.

The look he gave off was anything friendly. I didn't know if it was because of him and Kouga's spat, or just me. I'd go with the later. Cold eyes looked me over, he looked as if I were the last person he wanted to disturb him.

Giving him a look back I shrugged my shoulders. "Kind of not really."

"Uh." Kouga's eyes flicked back to Sesshomaru briefly before returning to me.

Something clearly was up. Maybe I should just give them a minute.

"Is this a bad time?"

"No." Sesshomaru moved forwards, closer to me. A bored look replacing the angry one that had been there seconds ago. "Just talk already. Got better things to do."

I felt my own anger at that point. I was trying to remain calm, but these two were proving to be a hot mess. Gritting my teeth, I managed to get words out. "I just wanted to say something I been needing to say to you for a while."

"And that would be?" Shooting me another questionable look, Kouga chuckled gently. Sesshomaru glanced back, making the laughter cease. He turn those dark cold eyes once more to me. As if waiting for me to reply to his question.

I stared back dumbfounded. Pushing off the wall with his foot, Kouga stood on his own two legs. Shoving his phone in his pocket he stood across from me, arms crossed over his chest, waiting.

Least I had his full attention this time. I didn't end up having to smack that stupid hunk of plastic either. Looks like we both run. So far.

"God this is harder than I expected…" Shaking my head I tried focusing back on the topic at hand. Biting my pride I thought of the right words to say.

"What is?" Speaking kinder then Sesshomaru had Kouga gave me a hopeful look. If I had to bet money, I knew at least Kouga would be on my side of things by the end of this.

"Well, I came here to say..." Why couldn't I just get it out? I stood in front of my friend unable to say the words.

Rolling his eyes Sesshomaru waved his hand at me, wagging his fingers his tone took a hot note. "Jesus Christ InuYasha spit it out! Can't be that hard."

Always the one for impatience. I found myself giving him a heated look. I was trying, and he was being a dick on purpose.

"I just wanted to say sorry." Letting it all go I felt a slight weight lift off me. Who knew words could be so freeing.

Kouga and Sesshomaru stood there blinking, as if the words didn't register. Blinking a few times a slow smile spread across Kouga's face. Sesshomaru stood there emotionless.

Kouga laughed once more. As if all I was saying was a big joke. "For what? You didn't do anything to me." A cough from Sesshomaru has him correcting himself, "Us."

"No, I did." Running my hand through my hair I started at my feet as I tugged at my hair. Sighing I let go looking back up. "I have fucked this band sideways. I've been a miserable prick, taking my personal issues out on everyone. I just needed to tell you I'm sorry. I hope you know. You forgive me."

Sesshomaru coughed again, mumbling into it trying to disguise the words he said. "That's putting it lightliy."

"I said I know."

"Do you?" The laughter gone, an expression of curiosity and serious crossed Sesshomaru's face. His eyes looked into me, as if trying to seek the truth.

I opened and closed my mouth. I realized no matter what I said or did, these guys would never forgive me. The damage I had done was broken. I didn't know what I needed to say anymore.

I felt like shit, I felt bad for what I did. If I saying sorry wasn't going to help nothing was. I wasn't going to gravel forever, shaking my head I started to back away. If he didn't accept, fine fuck it. I was done.

"If you're going to make fun of my sincerity go fuck yourself. I was just trying to make shit right between us all."

"No, I'm not. I just never expected it."

"Have I really been that much of a miserable prick?" Shoulders slumping I started to feel bad once again. Shit had to end sometime soon.

The playful smile still on Kouga's face remained, shrugging his shoulders I watched as he laughed again. "This isn't new, you're as emotional as a stick."

"Thanks' guys good talk." I really turned that time, and started walking back around the corner. Having had enough I knew when to give up. This was pointless.

"Anytime big boy."

Flicking the both of them off over my shoulder, I felt a small spot of resentment. Kouga's laughter traveled as I took every step closer to walking around the corner. And I knew Sesshomaru's judgmental eyes lingered as well. This hadn't had gone how I wanted. What did I expect really? I should only expect the worse form these guys.

If that's how they reacted, I was going to hate seeing Miroku. Fuck this was going to go downhill from here.

"InuYasha."

I continued to walk, ignoring Kouga as he shouted my name. I had meant it. I was done.

"InuYasha! Fuck dude hold up!"

Stopping I turned my burning eyes in his direction. I wasn't in the mood for anymore. I had other asses to kiss.

"What? Want to poke fun a bit more?"

"I appreciate you saying sorry. So does Sesshomaru, "Nodding behind him I watched as my older brother paced back and forth. Watching us." In all honesty though, you and I both know I'm the last one you should be saying it to."

I stopped staring into the blue sincere eyes staring at me. I let his words play over in my mind. Had he just forgiven me? Had he given me a hard time just to bust my balls? That would be something Kouga did.

"Were you giving me a hard time?!"

Laughing I watch the familiar spark shine in Kouga's eyes. Nodding he approached patting me gently on the shoulder, "Pretty much."

I kept my frustration to myself. Lashing out and strangling him would only put us back to the beginning. Resisting strangling him, I asked the one question that was left to be asked. "So you forgive me?"

With a hesitant smile he nodded gently, shoulders rising and falling. "As long as you make right with Miroku, sure."

Nodding I laughed myself, that was the one that would be the true test.

"Yea, I know. Working myself up to that one."

"Anyways good luck, see ya tonight." Turning I watched as he started to head back the way he came. I stood there for a few watching as he met back up with Sesshomaru, to only what I assume were to continue the heated conversation where they had left off.

I watched them for a few more before I turned my own back, time to finish what I started. I let go of the breath I had been holding onto. Two down, one to go.

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**So First, this will be a two partner chapter. There was just so much that I decided to split it. SO next chapter another Inu chap. BUT He talks to Miroku"1 Yay making up! lol**

**Second: I'm sorry this has been, like a few weeks since I updated. I know I'm a slackass. It's not really that I'm lazy, it's more the muses like to pick their own damn time to show. I have really good plans for this fic. Just bear with me please1 I hope you love it and if you could please review! Helps me know what I'm doing and doing wrong!**

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